Hi everybody, it's Jodie Moore from Bold New Mom and you're listening to Nape Eclipse episode number 20.

Hello, how is everybody?

Hope you're doing fantastic. I feel amazing.

I'm not pregnant anymore. My beautiful little girl is here, Taylor. We're so excited to have her here and I'm excited to not be pregnant.

Thanks for putting up with all my complaining about it.

People always talk about how hard it is having a newborn and I'm like, nope, I can handle a newborn.

What I can't handle is having her inside me. It's really a rough go for me.

But anyway, I'm so grateful that I was able to carry her and get her here. We feel very blessed.

So, let's get into it today, shall we? We're going to talk about what to say to your suffering friend or family member.

And the reason I chose this topic is because I get this question a lot from people. They'll say, what do I say to my friend when she comes to me or what do I say to my son or daughter who's struggling with this particular situation?

And so, I have a few tips and the first one is you probably are already doing a phenomenal job or else they wouldn't be coming to you.

But let me give you a few things to think about and maybe it'll change just a little bit of the way that you approach people.

So to begin with, let's define suffering.

There's two different types of stories that people come to us with that I'm going to address today.

The first type is when something really tragic has happened that's outside of their control. Maybe it's an illness or some sort of tragedy or loss of a job or children making choices that they don't agree with or misbehaving in some way.

So, sorry, that's my newborn. Can you hear her? She's sleeping in the crib right by me.

So it's sort of that clean pain, right? If you've heard me talk about clean pain versus dirty pain, then this is the clean pain.

And in this situation when somebody comes to you and tells you something really tragic and awful that's happening, oftentimes what we feel is awkwardness, we don't know what to say, we don't know what's appropriate, right?

We don't want to be disrespectful, but we don't know if they're looking to feel better. And so it's kind of that awkward, what do I even say to type situation?

So we'll come back to that in a minute.

The second type that I want to talk about is more what I would consider the dirty pain, right?

So it's when somebody comes to you with a story and oftentimes being that we're not in this situation, we can hear where they're actually causing some of their own pain.

...