I'm Natalie Lou and you're listening to the baggage reclaim sessions.

Hello hello.

How are you doing?

Today I want to talk about Code, Amber and Red alerts.

Something that maybe in your life you refer to them as red flags.

When I look back on situations where I've kicked myself, they've always involved me ignoring warning signs that

often showed themselves in the early stages. And ignoring warning signs about something equates to ignoring yourself.

I would hear, see, think, feel, experience something that was basically alerting me that my attention

was required or that there was a problem or danger, maybe that I was going in the wrong direction

or going against myself in some way, and I would call it something else. As my relationship with me has evolved over time I've

really embraced the need to pay attention to what I call yes those code amber and red alerts. I first started referring to them as

code amber and red alerts back in March 2011 when I wrote a post about this topic on the blog and the reason why I felt the

need to refer to them in this way is because time and time again I would see people get into some sort of mental battle with themselves over whether something was a red flag or not. They would see something, here's something as I said, they would for instance meet someone, maybe interact with them a number of times, like a

handful, a couple of handful of occasions, or a text or email, DM, face to face, and then they would experience unease, discomfort.

Maybe they'd find that they were very self-critical while they were with this

personal afterwards. Maybe they'd behave uncharacteristically and feel quite

destabilized. Maybe they would find that they were like a performing seal and they were sort of like, you know, when you're in high school and you're trying to get in with the cool gang and so you start like being and doing things to look like you're like super cool.

They would second-guess themselves that experienced doubt and confusion.

They would feel afraid because sometimes there wasn't an immediate like right there in your face kind of danger they would be like maybe I be like, maybe I'm being needy, maybe I'm being too sensitive,

maybe I'm being difficult, dramatic, rude, uppity, judgment or whatever you want to call it.

Often they would continue on because they had already decided how they wanted things to be. They saw potential in the person or even if it wasn't in a romantic relationship or a

friendship or or work they saw the potential in a situation they didn't want to

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