Ep 188: Reader Question – Quitting drinking is hurting my relationship. Any advice?

This Naked Mind Podcast

Annie Grace

Education, Self-improvement

4.7 • 2.8K Ratings

🗓️ 29 June 2019

⏱️ 9 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

What happens when one person in a relationship or marriage decides to quit drinking? And what if the other person doesn’t have any interest in quitting? How do we avoid a negative impact on our relationship? Tune in as Annie answers this difficult question using advice from some of her readers who have walked through this situation. Find out tips and tricks that can help prevent changing your relationship with those who aren’t ready to give up booze. Are you ready for a deep dive into truly lasting change? If so, you might consider my Intensive Program. It’s a 9-week, self-led program that you can do in the complete comfort of your own home. It will truly transform your relationship with alcohol. If you want to learn more about this, go to thisnakedmind.com/intensive. And, as always - rate, review, and subscribe to this podcast, as it truly helps the message reach somebody who might need to hear it today.

Transcript

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0:00.0	This is Annie Grace and you're listening to this naked mind podcast where without
0:15.2	judgment, pain or rules, we explore the role of alcohol in our lives and culture.
0:28.7	Hi friends, this is Annie Grace with this naked mind. I'm the author of this naked mind,
0:33.6	and you can download the first chapters for free at www.thisnakedmind.com and I am answering
0:40.3	readers questions and today I have a question from Sarah Asara says, Hi Annie, can you please
0:45.0	offer some advice on the impact of quitting alcohol in relationships, especially with
0:49.2	partners? Since I quit, I feel it's had a detrimental effect on my relationship with my
0:53.6	partner that he misses me drinking and he feels bad for him that I quit. Well first of all,
0:59.6	Sarah, I mean this is a tough question I think because it is so out of our control how other people
1:05.2	feel about our decisions and first I just have to say that you are completely not alone in this.
1:11.1	This is something it's a question that's come up before, it's a story that I've heard from
1:14.6	literally dozens and dozens of people. One reader he drank with his wife every single night and
1:19.9	when he decided to stop drinking she sort of thought it was going to be a phase and it
1:25.1	wouldn't last and as the weeks went by and kept saying no to the glass of wine during the evening,
1:29.7	she really let it bother her and she got really snippy and judgmental and she started saying
1:34.1	things like, Oh, you're still on this kick. You know what's this about? And the truth was that
1:38.9	without him drinking, she had to look at her own kind of habits and behaviors and it was
1:44.4	totally obvious how much of that bottle of wine was gone every night and it made her really
1:48.4	uncomfortable. You know another reader she had a really boozy relationship with her husband for
1:53.0	like 20 years and it was one of her main reasons for keeping drinking and so she was so afraid of
2:00.7	the things that you're talking about that it would negatively impact the relationship
2:05.0	and she was so afraid of change because he had been very upfront with the fact that he had no
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