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Donald Trump visited a black church over the weekend

in an attempt to win over black voters

and also find out what a church is

and why people keep going into them.

And who's that loser nailed to the cross?

Maybe it's Jonah Goldbergs

and see, looks Jewish and obviously can't afford a pair of pants.

After the church visit, Trump issued a statement

calling for a new age of civil rights,

including the right to a safe neighborhood,

the right to school choice,

and the right to not have your job sent to Mexico

where they're killing us on trade folks.

Let me tell you, plus they're all like brown skinned and stuff.

...