Today, in a special report, the Daily Wire brings you the chronology of a Hillary Clinton scandal.

Friday, March 18, midnight.

Barack Obama's replacement deputy assistant interim acting former press secretary Olga Yamannama-Lumovitch calls a late-night press conference for a blogger named Jerry.

Ms. Yamannama-Lumovitch, speaking in a rare dialect of Finnish-Surbo-Croixion, announces that in response to a FOIA request filed by Judicial Watch in 1977, the administration is releasing a massive stack of documents, videotapes, empty pizza cartons, and out-of-print paperback novels.

Monday, June 6, 6 a.m.

After combing for weeks through the massive stack of material, blogger Jerry discovers a flash drive containing an erased but recoverable iPhone video showing Hillary Clinton and Huma Abedine seducing a 12-year-old boy into a manaja toa, then shooting him to death to keep him quiet, then devouring his body to hide the evidence.

After sending a copy of the video to Matt Drudge, blogger Jerry goes out for a walk and is run over by a taxi cab 17 times.

15 minutes later, the Drudge report runs a picture of a police siren on top of a red letter headline, Hill and Huma Seduce Kill, and devour 12-year-old, with a link to the video on YouTube.

YouTube responds to the high traffic by taking the video down, saying it violates their terms of service agreement.

A Google search for Hillary Huma Seduce Kill returns 13 results, all of them related to the film finding Nemo.

No major news outlet covers the story.

Tuesday through Thursday, June 7th through 9th, all across the internet, right-wing websites run bootleg copies of the video explicitly showing the atrocity.

The murdered boys weeping mother appears on Sean Hannity explaining why she's going to vote for Donald Trump.

Monday, June 13th, after a weekend in which the Twitter hashtag Hillary Kill Feast is trending around the world, Hillary Clinton issues a statement saying the release of the video is a wacky, right-wing plot to exploit material hackable.

The exploit material hacked off her phone by Russians trying to manipulate an American presidential election.

The New York Times, a former newspaper, covers the story with the headline GOP seeks to use video to prevent first woman presidency.

Donald Trump sends out a tweet calling Joe Scarborough a loser who's in bed with Jeff Zucker.

June 14th, the story breaks big. The New York Times, ABC, CBS, NBC, and CNN all lead with headlines screaming Donald Trump slings gaysler at Joe Scarborough.

During a panel discussion, CNN's Andrea Mitchell says, quote, this could have been a bad week for the Clinton campaign, what with the whole lesbian murder and cannibalism story, but Donald Trump blew it off the front pages with another of his OMG gaps.

Wednesday, June 15th, at a campaign stop in New Mecca, Michigan, a reporter shouts a question about the scandal at Hillary from the Iron Press cage behind a rope 30 yards away.

Mrs. Clinton responds, that's old news. Here, have a piece of chocolate covered 12 year olds eyeball.

Trigger warning, I'm Andrew Clayvin, and this is the Andrew Clayvin show. All right, you got to change that thing with my last time I laughed is now one day.

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