I'm Natalie Lou and you're listening to the baggage reclaim sessions.

Hello hello.

How are you doing?

Over these last few weeks in particular, I have found myself talking with people a lot about needs and wants and I would say 99% of it on some

level is about the person feeling unworthy, feeling that they don't deserve to, for instance, have what they need or want or to assert it through their actions or even yes on occasion to directly ask for it.

But then on the flip side of that,

there is this sense as well of feeling that

someone has been or done something that hasn't met their expectations.

So they've experienced disappointment.

They, as a result of that disappointment experience a sense of loss as well and depending on the

the narrative around it very much a sense of rejection as well. And what fuels all of this is the sense of I don't deserve what happened like I did I didn't do anything I didn't do anything wrong

or I don't think that what I've said or done or not said or not done warrants that.

Look at how I've been with you.

Look at all the effort I've put in with my work or with my family or my friends.

Why is it that my life looks so different to how I want it to be?

So there is the sense of it's not fair, I don't deserve this.

Something different should have happened because I didn't do something to warrant what did happen.

There can also be the sense that

we are unworthy because of something that happened. So we don't get what we need or

want and then we look at the situation we look at the person and in

spite of reality we will deduce that well it's because I'm unworthy like if I were worthy then they would be able to meet my needs if I were worthy I would get what I want so by extension of this then this is telling me that I am unworthy. And I was

really thinking about this a few days ago and I even wrote a blog post about it

...