I want to start off today by telling two quick stories. I heard both of these in

Japan back in the early 90s when I was there as a missionary. So here you go. Story

number one. Two American missionaries are riding in an elevator with a super cute Japanese girl.

They keep talking to themselves about how hot she is all the way up in the elevator in English of course.

And one of them says, man, if I wasn't a missionary,

I would totally ask her out.

And this girl finally turns to him and answers

in perfect English. And if you weren't a missionary I might

actually go out with you.

Story number two. A missionary is riding on his bike, he falls, he breaks both of his wrists, and this bicycle accident,

and has to spend a few days in a local Japanese hospital.

As he's laying in his bed, the super cute Japanese nurse comes in to give him a sponge back.

As she's sponging him here and there, he starts to get a little aroused.

She looks down at him, and she smiles, and she reaches across the table and picks up this

metal spoon and funk!

Hammers it right down on the top of his arousal and sorry elder no soup for you.

Now, I'm quite certain that neither of these two stories ever actually happened,

but that didn't really matter to me when I was a missionary.

I just loved hearing them and I loved telling them. Why? Probably because I

was 19 years old and I wasn't allowed to be attracted to super cute Japanese girls.

But of course I was and these stories gave me a way to vicariously

express my natural curiosity.

...