At this point in the election cycle, many of you may be confused.

You may be saying to yourself, wait, if my child gets killed,

does that mean I can criticize politicians or not?

After all, you saw Kaiser Khan at the Democratic Convention.

His son was a heroic American soldier who died in the Iraq war,

and he criticized Donald Trump for wanting to limit Islamic immigration.

Trump attacked him back, and the media said Trump was very bad.

But what about Patricia Smith?

Her diplomat son died at Benghazi, and she criticized Hillary Clinton

at the Republican Convention for not sending help and for lying about it,

and the media said Patricia Smith was very bad.

Likewise, when Cindy Sheen's son and American soldier was killed in Iraq,

she protested against George W. Bush, and she received international media attention.

But when Cindy Sheen's son and American soldier was killed in Iraq,

she protested against Barack Obama and was completely ignored.

So you might be forgiven if you turn to your spouse where she lies

prostrates sobbing inconsolably on the kitchen floor and said, jinky winky's honey,

now that the kids dead, are we supposed to make political statements or not?

Well, luckily for you, the mainstream media in conjunction with the Democratic

National Committee have issued these official guidelines to help you figure out

whether your soul-crushing tragedy has political value or is just one of those things

and tough luck.

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