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This election has been so full of amazing twists and surprises

that only a gormless bozo would try to predict

what will happen next.

So let's get started.

Prediction number one.

Now that the nomination of Donald Trump has been confirmed,

things should settle down into a more recognizable pattern.

As soon as next week's Democratic Convention is over,

FBI Director James Comey will announce that he has discovered evidence

that Hillary Clinton sold government favors in return for contributions

to the Clinton Foundation.

The next day, a metal barrel will be found floating in the Potomac,

containing sulfuric acid, and James Comey's cufflinks and dental fillings.

A few hours after that,

...