This is feminist wellness and I'm your host nurse practitioner functional medicine expert and life coach Victoria Albina. I'll be full heart. Welcome my love let's get started.

Hello hello my love I hope this finds you doing so well. You are hearing this episode on St. Valentine's Day. Whether you are

a celebrant of the feast of the tiny chubby adorable baby Cupid or not, it's almost springtime here in the northern hemisphere and many a

mammal's thoughts are turning once more to themes of love and the time honored mating rituals of swiping right until someone meets you at an outside bar

so you can flirt after two years of social distance and hopefully not catch the optimist

prime, which is what I've been calling the omicron, because you gotta laugh to keep from crying.

Am I right?

And while I thought about doing a lovey-dovey tribute to love, and you know how much this tender-hearted Leo loves love.

The last few weeks in Anckered, my six-month program there has been a lot of talk of

red flags in dating. So I thought what better way to commemorate old St Val than to talk about

when shit goes sideways? But seriously, this topic, of red flags, it is so vitally important for us from our

codependent perfections and people-pleasing habits.

Because when we as cod dependent thinkers live our lives constantly sourcing our self-worth outside of ourselves,

when someone wants to date us, and while I'll be framing this in dating,

today we can take these same lessons and apply them outside of a romantic relationship context

for sure, like if someone wants to be our friend or hire us, then when

someone expresses their desire to be with us, our desire to be validated by feeling wanted by someone else can outweigh or outshine those red flags.

And as we are stepping into doing the work of overcoming our co-dependent perfectionist and people-pleasing

habits, we may start to see the red flags in our past and present relationships.

Red flags we may not have been able to see before while we were in the situation

places where we didn't have our own backs, where we didn't trust ourselves, our

intuition, or discernment, because so often we do see the red flag. I know I, phew, I always did.

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