I'm a loser.

I'm not what I appear to be.

Although I laugh and I act like a clown beneath this mask I am wearing a frown.

My tears are falling like rain from the sky.

Is it for hair or myself that I cry?

I'm a loser and I lost someone who needs to me. I'm a loser and I'm not what I appear to be.

This is infantsants on Thrones.

Minnesot.

Minsot.

Welcome back to Infants on Thrones. I hope you'll indulge me in a rather unusual audio blog entry.

This is Glenn O'Sland and right now it's 4.30 in the morning, AM, February 11th, 2015, and my mind is racing.

It has been all night. My heart is numb. No, my heart is normally numb. Right now

it's actually feeling something and I didn't expect this to happen.

Altonite I can't seem to stop reading all of the posts online, all of the various reactions to John Delin's ex-communication

yesterday, or the announcement that he was excommunicated.

I've treated this pretty flippantly up to this point, but reading through all the different

Facebook wall posts and forum discussions, reading what John posted, the copy of his ex-communication letter,

and the letter that he received in August.

I'm just struck by so many things, but one thing stands out more than anything a profound sadness

a sadness that I just didn't expect I didn't really know it was there. Now if you listen to the

podcast a lot you know I joke around I joke around a lot and I feel driven to make these podcasts, to make them entertaining, to make them fun,

and to keep discussing Mormonism with these friends of mine, to reach out and get a reaction from listeners. But what drives it all?

...