Ep 153: The Starship that Couldn't Slow Down

Improvised Star Trek

USS Sisyphus

Improv, Comedy

4.9 • 573 Ratings

🗓️ 25 December 2016

⏱️ 30 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

The Ferengi's attack during contest week, winning the Sisyphus crew a ship careening out of control. Oh and don't forget it's Christmas and the new Captain has banned use of the replicators. If it weren't for the magic of science this episode would be grimmer than Tiny Tim's prospects.

Improvised September 4th, 2016 from a suggestion by Joe TeamValor Grönroos via Facebook

Edited by Hannah Parsons

Featuring

Matt Young as Captain Baxter, Lt. Greg, Ferengi 3

Chris Rathjen as Comdr. Corbomite Hayes, Scooter

Nick Wagner as Lt. Ch'arles Lorem, Ferengi 1

Sean Kelley as Cmdr. Crick Watson, Jewish Engineer

Eli Mandel as Acting Chef Rip Stiply, Ferengi 2, Tiny Tim Engineer

Mary Cait Walthall as Zarlene Zonalzon, Ensgn. Operator

Guest Starring

Allison Ringhand as Barb Sandgwick

Ads voiced by Samuel Parsons

Transcript

Click on a timestamp to play from that location

0:00.0	This episode of Improvised Star Trek is brought to you by Know Your Company. Got 25 to 75 people in your company?
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0:28.4	Captain, I know we're in the middle of a crisis right now, but we have that contest winner?
0:29.4	Oh, that's right.
0:31.2	Ready to fire photon torpedoes, sir.
0:32.0	Belay that order.
0:33.9	Captain, I'm going to bring Rip to Sickbay.
0:35.4	He's really, really messed up. Okay, I'm going to grab my duffel bag and just get out of here. Well, no, I, could you please, I know that this contest winner is captain for a week, but it would be really good if you could actually stay on board in the midst of our... My legs over there! It's okay, I'll grab that to rip. Don't go to the light. Whatever you do. All right, we're gonna go down there. Okay, I'll stay on board as first officer. All right, well then she's gonna be here momentarily. She just beamed aboard so she's in the transporter room. She's coming up to the bridge. Okay, so right now I'm acting, Captain. Go ahead and fire photon. Okay, firetone torpedo. What is this?
1:11.6	Welcome forward, Captain.
1:13.6	Oh, my, oh, hello.
1:15.6	Oh my God, this is fantastic.
1:17.6	And this is all chrome?
1:18.6	Shields are at 36% sir.
1:20.6	Matt, I'm sorry.
1:21.6	Oh, no, no, no, no.
1:23.6	Just think of me as President Lincoln only at face. I'm thinking of you as President Lincoln. Yes, yes. We're currently under attack by Rogue Ferengis. Rogue Ferengis. Oh, they sound scary. Would you like us to continue returning fire? Did we try to olive branch? Was that too? Oh yeah, that's all passed.
1:44.5	Like they didn't, they went to listen to us. Okay, can we call their mother? Shields at 27%. Oh, that sounds good? No, that's not great, actually. Okay. Should we transfer power from engineering into the shields? Yes, let's go with that. Hey, let's go ahead and do this. Yes, go ahead. Captain, your name is Barb, is it?
2:00.7	Barb Sandwick.
2:01.9	Barb Sandwick.
2:03.0	Yeah.
2:03.4	Well, Captain Sandwick?
2:04.4	Yeah. Hey, let's go ahead and do this. Yes, go ahead. Captain, your name is Barb, is it? Barb Sandwick.
	...

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