Ep 146: Love Reset: For when reactivity and oversensitivity takeover healthy relationships

Help Me Be Me

Cloud10

Health & Fitness

4.8 • 1.9K Ratings

🗓️ 25 May 2021

⏱️ 34 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

Or, "It's not about you." There are all sorts of unconscious processes that occur in individuals and they show up in our relationships. Usually, if we are getting into that loop of reactivity, it’s not about what it’s about. Rather, it’s a chain reaction of misunderstandings. Or it can often be due to both people feeling tapped and therefore yanking at the other person to please see them and give them attention. The best way to navigate out of a situation like this is to change that habit and bring in the feeling of bounty and openness. Easier said than done, but this is an episode aimed and getting you to that state. And also reminding yourself, if your partner is venting onto you– it’s not about me! To go more in-depth on this type of information you can check out Gottman here: https://amzn.to/2St6rAs For more of my work you can check out YayWithMe.com! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Transcript

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0:00.0	And they are some our guide for Marmite first timers. First toast your pillowy soft bread.
0:08.0	Push that.
0:10.0	Liberally spread that butter. Stroke that Marmite open.
0:16.0	Dip that knife and spread that. Don't overload.
0:22.0	And taste that. Marmite. Love it.
0:27.0	Hate it. Get it on.
0:31.0	Help me be me is self-help for people who hate self-help hosted by me, Sarah May.
0:37.0	What I talk about on this show is my personal opinion and it's not a substitute for professional help.
0:43.0	I'm not a licensed therapist and this is based on the tools I use in my own life.
0:47.0	Take what helps and leave the rest. If you're really suffering call 911 or your local emergency services.
0:57.0	Hi friends, it's Sarah May and this is an episode about conflicts in healthy relationships or it's not about you.
1:15.0	So this is an episode to listen to if you are in a relationship with somebody who you know is a good partner who you trust.
1:27.0	And maybe you're having lots of conflicts with them or you're not in a good stage of your relationship.
1:35.0	It's to it's to either deal with that or also to look at yourself like to ask maybe I can be a better partner in my relationship.
1:45.0	But just a big caveat. This is not an excuse to stay in an unhealthy relationship.
1:51.0	So the first and foremost most important thing is to choose right.
1:55.0	And if you are with the right person and you're with a person you trust who has your best interest at heart who is capable of being in a healthy relationship.
2:03.0	This is something you can use in that kind of relationship.
2:07.0	And the back story behind this one one of my favorite subjects I learned about in school was systems theory.
2:13.0	Which is a super old school theory in how we interpret dynamics within relationships including how we develop disorder.
2:23.0	And but it for me it made so much sense and it's basically how we explain the inner workings of relationships in that different people will release pressure or vent their issues through other people.
2:37.0	And so often if we cannot confront certain things about ourselves or deal with negative feelings that maybe we can't even consciously confront.
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