Ep 145: Squircle: Part Square, Part Circle

Improvised Star Trek

USS Sisyphus

Improv, Comedy

4.9 • 573 Ratings

🗓️ 29 August 2016

⏱️ 25 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

The crew led by Cdr. Hayes encounter a unique life form, which may have hostile intentions. A courtship ritual takes center stage.

This episode was improvised on July 31, 2016. Title suggested by Tyson Thorp via Facebook.

Edited by Eric Scull

Featuring

Griffen Eckstein as Squircle, Lt. Cdr. Fritz Fassbender, Lt. Leopold Lackey, Lt. Son
Sean Kelley as Lt. Cdr. Crick Watson
Eli Mandell as Acting Rip Stipley, Rhombus
Chris Rathjen as Cdr. Corbomite Hayes, Trhombus
Mary Cait Walthall as Dr. Zarlene Zonalzon, En. Operator, Triangle

This episode is sponsored by Cards Against Humanity, a member of the Chicago Podcast Co-Op.

Check out Talking Games.

Transcript

Click on a timestamp to play from that location

0:00.0	This episode of the Improvised Star Trek is sponsored by Cards Against Humanity, a member of the Chicago podcast Co-op.
0:09.2	They asked us not to read an ad. Enjoy the show.
0:15.2	Commander, we're getting a hail?
0:21.2	On screen.
0:23.1	Hey guys.
0:24.4	Oh, uh, hello.
0:25.9	Hello, hey.
0:27.0	What's going on?
0:27.9	You got, what a lovely looking crew.
0:30.0	Well, thank you.
0:30.8	I am Commander Hayes of the Starship Cisyphus of the United Federation of Planets.
0:35.0	Who are you?
0:35.5	I'm squiricle.
0:36.5	Part square.
1:10.9	Part circle. My mother was a square. Uh-huh. My father was a circle. They had me. Squircle. Oh, that's a squircle. Commander. Hey, it's a squircle. Oh, are you familiar with squircles? No. I've never seen that before. That's crazy. Yeah, Captain, there's actually a whole course at Starfleet Academy that's just about how squares and circles should not be able to interbreed and create one entity. All right, put... You just called the Commander Captain. Sorry, Commander. No, it's fine. I'll never call you that again. No, it's okay. No, it's no. We will never call you captain. Yeah. Okay, that's fine.
1:26.5	It's not your rank. Put squircle back up on screen. Your rank is commander. It's only command. Back on. I'm aware. I'm aware. Hi there. I'm not a captain. I'm just a commander. Okay, that's fine. Just, you know, whatever makes it easiest for you to surrender to me. Oh, oh, not... Are you hostile?
1:28.9	I was about to say we have not...
1:30.5	Our science... for you to surrender to me. Oh, oh. Not... Ooh.
1:28.7	Are you hostile?
1:31.1	I was about to say we have not... Our science tells us that squircle such as yourself cannot exist.
1:35.4	I'm not hostile.
1:36.6	I'm squircle.
	...

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