Ep 143: The One Where Ross Gets a Monkey

Improvised Star Trek

USS Sisyphus

Improv, Comedy

4.9 • 573 Ratings

🗓️ 1 August 2016

⏱️ 23 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

So, no one told you space was going to be this way. Your ships a joke, you're broke, your love-lifes holographic. Seems like you're always stuck at impulse speed, when it hasn't been your stardate, your starweek, your starmonth, or even your staryear.

Improvised April 10, 2016 from a suggestion by Doug Frye via Facebook

Edited by Chris Rathjen

With musical contributions by Eric Garneau & Dan Granata

Featuring

Griffen Eckstein as Fritz Fassbinder, Gunther
Sean Kelly as Crick Watson
Eli Mandel as Rip Stipley, Lt. Jeremy Swanson, Cpt. Morgan Bateson
Christopher Rathjen as Corbomite Hayes
Nick Wagner as Lt. Ch'arles Lorem
Mary Cait Walthall as Dr. Zarlene Zonalzon, Janet, En. Operator
Julia Weiss as Ensign Spot, Lt. Rita King
Matt Young as Cpt. Julius Valentine Baxter, Lt. Geller

Transcript

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0:00.0	This episode is sponsored by Cards Against Humanity.
0:05.2	They asked us...
0:06.3	Oh, okay, there is an ad.
0:08.3	Okay.
0:09.5	Cards Against Humanity is bringing back Concert Against Humanity at Gen Con on August 5th.
0:15.4	The show will feature live performances from Eugene Merman, Aparanenancherla,
0:19.9	Jonathan Colton, Molly Lewis, Paul and Storm,
0:22.9	and more surprise guests from the Chicago comedy scene. The show is open to all, so grab your
0:28.4	tickets at Concert Against Humanity.com.
0:36.7	Lieutenant Geller?
0:38.2	Yes.
0:39.8	This came to sickbay by accident, but I'm not doing any primate testing right now.
0:44.9	Yeah.
0:45.7	So I think this, it's addressed to you in paleontology.
0:49.4	Well, I just, I don't, I don't really feel like I can take on anything else.
0:52.8	I've got a real full plate already, and I, I'd love to, you love to take that package, but it came here, stick base, so clearly it's yours. But you ordered this monkey, didn't you? Yeah, yeah, I guess I did. It's a macaque. It's adorable. No, yeah, I'll take it. I'll take it. I'll take it. I'll take it. You seem really sad. Well, yeah. Like, I was dating this girl, Rachel, and now we broke up, and she doesn't want to see me anymore.
1:15.1	I don't know.
1:15.6	So, may I'll just, you know, make this monkey my girlfriend.
1:18.4	I mean, like, not like making my girlfriend, but just like a surrogate kind of like friend, you know, relationship thing.
1:23.5	I don't judge.
1:23.9	I mean, I've had sex with a robot. I'm not going to have sex with this monkey.
1:27.8	I want to make that insanely clear.
	...

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