Ep 141: If You Can't Beat 'Em, Bajoran 'Em!

Improvised Star Trek

USS Sisyphus

Improv, Comedy

4.9 • 573 Ratings

🗓️ 5 July 2016

⏱️ 23 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Inappropriate appropriation abounds, appropos of nothing. Will Rip Stipley accept himself for who he is, or will he finally take things too pon farr?

Improvised on March 20th, 2016. Title suggested by Ron Harvey Jr. via Facebook

Edited by Roger Payton

Starring:

Eli Mandel as Acting Bajoran Rip Stipley

Julia Weiss as Lt. Rita King

Chris Rathjen as Commander Corbomite Hayes

Nick Wagner as Lt. Ch'arles Lorem

Matt Young as Captain Julius Valentine Baxter

Mary Cait Walthall as Dr. Zarlene Zonalzon

Eleanor Hollingsworth as Counsellor Rayvek

Transcript

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0:00.0	This episode of the Improvised Star Trek is sponsored by Cards Against Humanity, a member of the Chicago Podcast Co-op.
0:06.8	They asked us not to read an ad. Enjoy the show.
0:10.9	Hello.
0:12.3	Oh, hello.
0:13.3	How's it going?
0:14.3	Fine.
0:15.0	Cool. Hey, do you like my earring?
0:17.1	Rita, do you like my earring?
0:18.7	I don't know why you're wearing one. Oh, I'm a pejoran now. No, you can't just choose that. Uh, I can and I have. You can't just choose it. I am an acting pejoran rip Stipply. Okay, rip? Yes, Rita, my soul sister. Take it off. What? Take it off. No. Take it off. I'm a Bajoran now. Rip? Yes. If I may. No, you may not. I'm a Bajoran. We got a Vedic on board. We're transporting him to... Why are you doing this? This is my thing. I'm the Bajoran. I am. It's about me.
0:55.0	We can have two?
0:56.0	No, we can't.
0:57.2	I thought that you would be happy to have another Bajoran on board.
0:59.7	But you're not a Bajoran.
1:00.7	But I am.
1:01.1	You can't just decide your Bajoran.
1:02.9	Look at my face.
1:03.7	I grafted skin onto my nose.
1:06.1	This isn't like being a chef or a doctor.
1:09.1	Why? Because you're born a Bajoran. You can't be your... You know what, Rip? What? Fine. Rip, hey, I just wanted to say, I have approved your request for the ship to be having a Bajoran Gratitude Festival this week. What? Tell her joy, buddy. What? Hey, hey, Corbo, come here real quick. Oh, yep. Let me touch you.
1:28.6	Oh, hey, soft ear, my man. He's not... Peace be with you, my child. Oh, my God. And also with you. Thank you. Corbo. Yeah, Rita. Can we have a chat? Yeah, sure. Peldor Joy. Why did you approve this? Is this a big joke?
1:43.9	No.
1:44.4	Is this because we broke up again?
	...

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