there was that part of me that where I guess today I would say my soul was deeply and wounded by this idea that that

this God that I was to worship was really this whole relationship was built on fear.

You know that ultimately and you can't love what you fear in any meaningful sense of relating and so

it took me a long time to realize that really there's a

fundamental threat that's baked into the worldview I was handed which is

God loves you unless you don't love him back because in that way he's like a

junior high girlfriend who will

smite in your ass you know what I mean?

Welcome to Living 4D with Paul Check. Today's guest is former mega church pastor Ryan Meek.

Hello to all of you.

A few months ago while spending time with my friend Matt Maruka, founder of Raw Optics,

we were chatting about the issues of religion, consciousness,

light, and the use of plant medicines for healing and exploring spiritual awareness.

During that he couldn't any longer preach the things that were not true from his own life

experience. He left the church and went on his own healing path which included

plant medicines and it really helped him heal and become whole.

Immediately I said, that's my kind of guy.

I would love to talk to him.

Please hook us up.

As fate and fortune would have it, Ryan moved from Oregon

where his mega church was located to Encinitus right here in San Diego.

I invited Ryan to come to the Rainbow House to spend a day with me to explore each other's lives

...