Hot Digity Dog. It's time for another visit to our favorite website, Everyday Feminism.

The website that's more than 300 times more stupid than ordinary feminism because it's

every damn day. Whoever you are and whatever you're doing, everyday feminism will tell

you why you're doing it wrong and should feel bad about yourself. It's sort of like having

a shrill, mean-spirited, nagging, shrew of a wife who can't cook and won't have sex

with you. In other words, it's feminism. Today on Everyday Feminism, you can find a post

entitled, and I'm not making this up, warning signs that your yoga practice is culturally

appropriated. For those of you who have more important things to worry about, like combing

out the hair around your navel or bleaching your nostrils, cultural appropriation is when

one sort of person unfairly uses something that originated with another sort of person,

like when Muslims use human rights or when feminists use reason. Now, according to

Everyday Feminism, quote, there's not necessarily anything wrong with you doing yoga as a white

person, unquote. And, whew, that's a relief. But here are just a few signs that your downward

facing dog is sucking the lifeblood from the weak and innocent. Sign number one, your

yoga is culturally appropriated. You don't acknowledge where your yoga practice comes

from. Yoga originated in India. So now and then, while gliding into a Tadasna pose, you

should say something Indian like, white man speak with forked tongue or hurry, lone

ranger, tantosy bad men riding to black canyon. Or if you want to do something more like

an authentic Indian from India, try giving incomprehensible technical instructions over

the phone to someone whose computer is broken. Sign number two, your yoga practice includes

shame and ridicule. Only a white person would introduce competition to such a lofty practice

as yoga. So if you hear yourself saying things like, hey, fatso, where'd you learn to do

...