Well, it's been almost a week since the first Democrat debate, and it's time to sift through

the smoking wreckage of what was once the American intellectual landscape and determine the winner,

namely Hillary Clinton and the loser.

Namely that process of evolution designed by a loving God to lift us from the soulless

single-cell animality of half-life in the primordial bogs to a station of nobility higher

even than the angels.

A process which the debate catastrophically reversed.

Hillary Clinton scored her triumph by outthinking Bernie Sanders, who had traveled forward and

time from the 1930s in hopes of saving the Soviet Union from collapse.

Unfortunately due to an apparent glitch in his magic phone booth, Sanders arrived too late

to resurrect the USSR and has been forced to leave that to Vladimir Putin and Barack Obama.

Sanders proposed $18 trillion worth of government giveaways, which he said would be funded by taxing

America's 536 billionaires, who possess all told about $2,500 billion, which would fund

about 1-7th of the proposals.

Under the Sanders plan, also known as Stalinomics, billionaires and millionaires would be prevented

from taking their wealth out of the country by a wall, which would be built on the border,

as soon as Bernie can figure out how to build one, that still allows Mexico to flood our nation

with impoverished refugees looking for jobs from billionaires and millionaires who would

now have no money to hire them with.

Sanders said he would kill and arrest a lot of people, and finally the nation would collapse

when Ronald Reagan was elected in America.

When informed all this had already happened in Russia, Sanders pulled off his mask to

...