As the November election rockets toward us like a rocket that will explode and scatter our bodies and possibly even our souls over a gore-spattered kill zone that used to be America until it was hit by a rocket.

It's time for us to ask ourselves,

what are the choices we should be thinking about

as we writhe in a strangling paroxysm of mutual hatred and rage

until we're hit by the November election as if it were a rocket.

First, there's the candidates themselves.

On one side, we have Joe Biden.

And hey, let's say something positive about our president. I mean sure he's a lifeless body that's been horrifically reanimated for political gain

but at least he doesn't eat people's brains so it's better than having an actual

zombie in the White House. Although that might be kind of cool too, like if he was

shuffling aimlessly around the rose garden, muttering incoherently with his mouth hanging

open and his eyes glazed. He's doing that already so you get all the great zombie effects

without the actual eating of brains. So, hooray for Joe Biden. On the other side, you have Donald

Trump and of course there are plenty of positive things to say about Donald Trump.

We know that because he said most of them, which proves he's still alive, so at least he's not Joe Biden.

Then there's the issues.

And yes, I don't care what they are either but let's take a look anyway

number one is abortion. Joe Biden is a devout Catholic so of course he believes in a

blood-drenched mass slaughter of millions of innocent babies

up to and including the moment of their birth after which they can be mutilated into flesh costumes of the opposite

sex to appease the insane academic theories of sexual perverts

because Joe Biden is just so devout.

...