Ep #11: The Manual

The Life Coach School Podcast

Brooke Castillo

Education, Entrepreneurship, Business, Self-improvement

4.8 • 9.2K Ratings

🗓️ 26 June 2014

⏱️ 25 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Whether we know it or not, most of us have manuals that we have "written" for other people in our lives on what they should do and how they should behave. Most often these people are not even aware that these "rule books" exist, yet we expect them to follow the rules and get upset with them when they don’t.

On this episode of The Life Coach School, you will learn how you can let go of all your rules and control attempts towards everyone you have manuals for and lead a life full of long-lasting and conflict-free relationships.

Get full show notes and more information here: http://thelifecoachschool.com/11/

Transcript

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0:00.0	You are listening to the Life Coach School podcast with Brooke Castillo episode number 11.
0:07.8	Welcome to the Life Coach School podcast where it's all about real clients,
0:13.3	real problems and real coaching. And now your host, Master Coach Instructor, Brooke Castillo.
0:22.5	Hey everybody, what's up? So glad you're here. I'm going to rock your world today with the topic
0:29.3	that so many of my students and clients love because of the way it gives them perspective on
0:36.4	other people in their lives. And we call this topic the manual. And it's because most of us have
0:45.4	operating manuals that we've written for the other people in our lives. And I noticed this really
0:51.2	early on in my coaching careers, I was coaching people is that people have very thick and very
0:55.7	long manuals for other people and myself included. And so I started laughing and talking to my
1:02.9	clients about this, basically saying, Hey, so this very thick manual that you've written for your
1:07.8	husband, have you even let him read this manual? Does he know what he's supposed to do in order to
1:12.6	operate properly? And you know, most of them would say no. And then they would use that as a reason
1:20.2	for being very upset about so many things in their life. So it's basically this manual is like this
1:27.2	rule book on how the other person should behave. And manual is basically an instruction book that
1:39.1	we've written for somebody else. And we've tied all of our emotional life to whether or not they
1:46.4	follow it. And even though it may seem very justified to have expectations of other people,
1:52.2	it is also quite damaging and frustrating for ourselves to do so. Because we have these belief
2:01.8	systems that if other people would just behave themselves the way that we would like them to behave,
2:06.9	then we could be happy. And the problem is we don't even realize that we're doing this.
2:12.1	We think that we just have reasonable expectations of people in our life and that they should behave
2:17.5	in a way that is reasonable. But what we think is reasonable and what other people think is reasonable
2:25.0	is oftentimes very different. So one of the first things that I think is really important to remember
	...

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