This week I talk about why we often need to get mad first before we see a blessing.

Plus, I explain why we need to be open to the possibility of being disappointed in order to be

vulnerable. I'm Natalie Lee a writer based in southeast London who is dedicated to

helping people to improve their emotional and relationship literacy.

Let's kick this off.

What's the difference between confronting an issue and confronting someone?

One of the things that becomes really apparent when I talk to people who are struggling to talk about their feelings or to handle their fears of

conflict is that there are misconceptions about what confronting an issue and actually confronting someone actually involved.

Each of them actually gets mixed up.

When we confront an issue, it means that we are facing up to something that bothers us.

This could be something that we could theoretically do on our own.

So we could be, I don't know, at home and thinking about something

that has been bothering us and then we can spend some time trying to sort of dig

into what we are feeling at that particular time and as we start to sort of, I guess, poke through those feelings and start to allow our thoughts to come up to the fore that we then begin to confront what the real issue is.

Because as is often the case, when it comes to conflict or something that bothers us,

what we feel the actual issue is is is normally just the top layer and what's really going on is you know beneath that

You know it's a bit like I hear from couples who are arguing about money for instance and they say oh you know we're arguing

because you know it's this and that but actually behind all of that what they're

really arguing about is you know feeling unseen or unheard or feeling that

they're not recognized or feeling that that person doesn't trust them in some way,

but that's not really what's being said.

When we confront an issue as well, it's also about bringing something up to the surface for someone. So this is an

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