President and Vimal Houseplant Joe Biden has developed a new geopolitical strategy

for responding to the war in Ukraine, which largely consists of saying incredibly stupid things

that could get us all killed. Some in the administration have questioned the new strategy.

Fearing that if everyone on Earth is killed, there'll be no one left to institute the Green New

Deal, and climate change will destroy life on Earth as we knew it before it was destroyed by

Biden's incredibly stupid remarks. Biden began to implement his new strategy last week when he

said, quote, if Putin uses illegal bio weapons, well, bi-golly, I'll just have Fauci call his

friends in Wuhan and get us some bio weapons of our own. Unquote. White House bespoke's

woman, Jen Pasaki, immediately issued a clarifying post-statement, saying quote,

"'Passuffering Pasuck' attached this job, Pissucks. What the Passam Hill is that the stupid

person of a second rate Pissimpledin, Pissaying now,' unquote. Vice President Kamala Harris

immediately issued a statement clarifying Pasaki's clarifying statement, saying quote,

"'There is great significance to the passage of time,' unquote. Russian President Vladimir Putin

clarified Biden's statement by spraying Hungary with anthrax. Next, in a speech to U.S. soldiers

ordered to pretend to be listening to the man pretending to be their commander-in-chief,

President Houseplats said quote, "'Pooten cannot remain in power, and I'm sending American troops

to take him out like I took out cornpop, except with a real person, and it won't just be happening

in my imagination,' unquote. White House bespoke's woman, Jen Pasaki, immediately issued a clarifying

post-statement, saying quote, "'Passumine pursued me. Now this facility Peshirt head is going to

pistart a nuclear Pisslaughter,' unquote. Bill Crystal, however, at his website,

protect Israel by killing everyone else.com, issued his own clarifying statement, saying quote,

"'The President is exactly right. America must invade every country on earth, hang around there

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