Rupert Murdoch's New York Post has endorsed Donald Trump in the state's primaries.

The Post's editor said they came to their decision after much careful thought and after

sleeping beside a mysterious watermelon-shaped plant that opened to release spores that sucked

out all their vital fluids and then replicated their bodies with bodies that endorsed Donald

Trump.

In the endorsement editorial, the Post's editor noted that Trump's proposals to pull troops

out of Japan and South Korea are terrible ideas that his anti-trade proposals would

lead to poorer American products and more expensive goods that building a wall on the

Mexican border was simplistic and that Trump's language has been, quote, amateurs and divisive

and downright course.

When asked why they endorsed Trump anyway, the editors replied, we're not actually sure,

ask the watermelon-shaped plant.

The Post's editorials did say that, quote, should he win the nomination, we expect Trump

to pivot, not just on the issues, but in his manner.

The Post believes Trump will no longer be the sort of man who intimidated tenants to try

to get them out of one of his buildings, who attempted to use eminent domain to steal

an old woman's house, who kept black people away from the gaming tables of one of his mafia

buddies at his casino and who bragged about cheating on his wife with the wives of other

men.

Instead, the Post feels that after winning the nomination, Trump will pivot to become a different

person, possibly Winston Churchill.

But the character Tom Hanks played in big.

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