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Welcome back to our article omens. I hope today finds you adequately hydrated and with a

plentiful supply of exciting and or diverting activities to pursue. EG smirking or drinking.

Imagine if you will that you are trying on a daringly tight pair of skinny jeans in your local

department store. You pull them on and begin to struggle to get them past your socks, roll

and dusty thighs. You drop onto a stool with the jeans around your knees and stare at yourself

in the full length mirror. The site turns your stomach. You reach your outer thigh and an

apologetic ball that drops out of your overstretched underpants. That god no one can see me like this

you think. Just at that moment a short fat doughy bald spherical moor and of a man pulls back

curtain and declares, pal look at you mate with your tiny london baller hanging down like a full

dog's dribble. If I had a gun that put you out your misery. It is of course ladies and gentlemen

my co-host Mr Andrew Dawson. Oh Mr Norfist face covered in pork

veins stomach like a pigeon chicken dip his religion oh Mr Sunlight

each his vegetable tin cans his dog cods in his backyard he fills his pillows with pork

oh yes all right Andy yeah more right Bob thanks very much for that lovely introduction

there yeah you don't sound very happy what's happened oh I'm all right no I'm all right I'm fine

yeah you know all things considered I like one I've just seen from your Instagram that you found

a cup lol bottles of beer leaves from a few years back I have I've been tucked in yet not yet

...