Leftist scientists working around the clock have made the amazing discovery that by changing

the words people use, they can transform physical reality, making the world utterly just,

and fair, and happy, except for all the people who aren't allowed to say what they mean.

Lead leftist scientist Dr. Otto von Schmuckeroo explained this amazing scientific breakthrough

in a paper entitled, Follow the Science, and do whatever we tell you, which he delivered

last year to the Nancy Pelosi Society for the Advanced Study of Shut the Hell Up.

In the paper, Dr. von Schmuckeroo said, quote, in our experiments, we notice that words

changed reality, so that for instance, simply by speaking the words, I do, a man and woman

can be transformed into a husband and wife, becoming one flesh in the eyes of God, never

to be torn as thunder by man unless they get bored or see someone hotter or just can't

stand the damn nagging anymore.

So we decided to see what other transformations we could create by speaking the proper words

in order to make the world a better place.

Unquote.

Dr. von Schmuckeroo went on to explain how, in one recent experiment, Demi Lovato said,

she wanted to become non-binary, and so changed her pronouns to they and them, as in the

sentences, who the hell is they, and I've never heard of them, and I guess they doesn't

know, there's no such thing as non-binary.

Instantly, on using these new pronouns, Lovato was transformed from a washed up pop star

desperate for attention into a washed up pop star with some kind of weird mental disorder.

This made the world more equal and happy by creating an opening in the music business

for a person with actual talent.

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