Today, a daily wire exclusive.

The Andrew Clayvin show has received an email from President Barack Obama sent from where

he is currently living on the right side of history.

Here it is in full.

Dear people of Earth, I know things have been looking a little bleak for you over there

where you are, so I thought you'd like to know that here where I am on the right side

of history, things are absolutely great.

The sun is shining, the golf never ends, and absolutely everyone is dancing the tango.

I wish you could see it.

You did see it.

Damn.

You know, it's not that I don't feel for you wrong, Siders.

That's what we call you over here.

It's a little right side of history, humor.

But I wanted to reassure you that even though people there are getting all of terrors

to see and blow up the and stuff, here on the right side of history, we understand that

terrorism is not an existential threat.

Unless it should happen to end your existence.

Then it is.

So watch out.

The real problem is that you wrong-siders are still arguing over silly things like ideas,

fighting each other over whether you like communism or capitalism, freedom or slavery,

...