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Slack.com slash DHQ. Before I begin talking, I want to apologize for the things I'll

probably say. If I'm about to offend anyone or make anyone uncomfortable, it's going

to be an unthinking moment when I somehow allow myself to slip from your comfortable fog

of politically correct dishonesty into an obscene, glaring truth. I want to have meant to

do that. It will be an accident and I'm going to feel really bad about it. If in the things

I'm about to say, I make anyone feel like a freakish or unattractive outsider, unworthy

of participating in the society of intelligent, well-adjusted and frightfully good-looking,

manly men and feminine women who make up my entire audience except for yourself, I will

deeply, deeply regret it. And we'll take it back as soon as the rest of us stop snickering

at you among ourselves and return to our senses. Or if in anything I'm about to say, I trigger

an unpleasant memory of that time someone triggered an unpleasant memory of that time

someone triggered an unpleasant memory of, I forgot what I was saying, but you know

what I mean. And I'm terribly sorry about that too. I wish you had no clue what I meant.

Because then you wouldn't be so upset by it. And could simply continue being the bitter,

snarling, resentful person pretending to be happy while secretly puzzled by your own

lack of life satisfaction that you were perfectly content-beam before I started to say whatever

it is I'm about to say. I want to apologize for everything I'm going to say about women.

...