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Encouraging Kids To Be More Assertive

Respectful Parenting: Janet Lansbury Unruffled

JLML Press

Kids & Family, Parenting

4.83.7K Ratings

🗓️ 10 October 2023

⏱️ 28 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Most of us hope that as our children venture out into the world, they'll possess enough innate assertiveness to set boundaries and navigate the common struggles of childhood like toy taking, unwanted roughhousing, unkind words, bullying. When our kids don’t stand up for themselves, it’s easy to assume that their lack of assertiveness is derived from a lack of self-confidence. Janet doesn’t believe that’s necessarily true and responds to two emails from listeners who are concerned about their children’s seeming inability to assert themselves in social situations. One parent describes her son being bullied on the school bus. Another says her daughter’s friend is clingy, bossy, and controlling, and this parent doesn’t believe her child has the self-confidence to set a boundary. Janet addresses each situation and offers advice for how the parents can help in the most effective manner.

Learn more about Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" at: NoBadKidsCourse.com.

Her best-selling books “No Bad Kids: Toddler Discipline without Shame” and "Elevating Child Care: A Guide to Respectful Parenting" are available in all formats at Amazon, Apple, Barnes & Noble, Google Play, and free at Audible (https://adbl.co/2OBVztZ) with a trial subscription.

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Transcript

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0:00.0

Hey, everyone, before we begin, I just want to remind you to please check out my new

0:07.6

No Bad Kids Master course.

0:09.6

You can find out all about it at nobadkidscourse.com.

0:14.5

Hi, this is Janet Lansfury.

0:19.6

Welcome to Unruffled.

0:21.0

Today, I'm going to be talking about a topic that parents bring up a lot and always have

0:27.2

in the classes that I've taught.

0:29.4

Interestingly, when there'll be children who are maybe one and a half that are taking

0:35.3

toys from each other, it's often the parent of the child who's not the taker, but the

0:42.0

take-e who gets the most concerned because their child isn't standing up for themselves.

0:48.6

They're just letting these things happen.

0:51.5

They're not being assertive.

0:53.9

And we all want our children to feel confident and assertive, right?

0:57.9

It's going to help them in their life.

1:00.2

As somebody who hasn't always felt very assertive in life and has slowly built that trait for

1:07.9

myself, I really do understand the concern.

1:11.8

And so I'm going to be giving feedback to two different parents who brought their concerns

1:18.2

to me in emails about their children's assertiveness.

1:24.5

Okay, so first I want to talk a little about assertiveness.

1:30.8

It's a character trait and we're all born with the potential for a variety of character

1:38.6

traits, but some more than others, right?

1:42.0

Like some of us have natural assertiveness, we're born very assertive.

...

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