Hello, everyone. Welcome to The Call-In Show. This is Emotional Badass, where Moxie meets Mindful. I'm your host, Nikki Eisenhower, life coach and psychotherapist. And on today's episode, I am chatting with Roma to talk about discernment and seeing the good in people. Light and love and onto the show.

If you would like to come chat with me and be a part of this call-in show that we've started. Please come to Emotionalbadass.com slash call. Fill out our little questionnaire to see if you are right for the

call-in show. Light and love and on to the show. I am here today with Roma, so I'm going to welcome

her to the show. Welcome, Roma. Thank you, Nikki. I'm

happy to be here. I'm so happy to have you. So tell me a little bit. Tell me why you're calling in.

What can I help you with today? So one of my IFS protectors, internal family systems, I've named

this part of me a red flag eraser.

And what this does is it allows me to have folks fill a role that I need or long for,

even if they're not the right fit. This absolutely comes from trauma in the past. My father died

when I was four. My mother became an alcoholic. I was a

parentified child, very young from the age of four. So this protective self helped me keep

relationships intact and put a positive spin on my pain because I needed to survive. But it also

has helped my career. So I have 10 years of being a psychiatric social worker,

so I needed a lot of empathy, a lot of loyalty to my patients. And more recently, I've become a

certified Gallup skills trainer and coach. And for your listeners, they're not familiar,

it's a skills-based, strength-based coaching style that uses a client's natural talents

to help them meet goals and kind of, you know, get what they want out of certain situations.

But during that certification, I learned that my top three talents are positivity, empathy,

and developer. So I'm just naturally impositive. I naturally have a lot of empathy for people.

I naturally want to fix people when I have that loyalty. So this protective self is sometimes a superpower

and sometimes a kryptonite. So my question for you is, how do I keep it when it's helpful and how do I work against my

natural talents when actually it's hurtful and I need to be more self-loyal?

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