Emotions Stepmoms Are Afraid To Admit, Feeling Like An Outsider & The Childless Stepmom Experience with The Sober Stepmom
The KICK-ASS Stepmom Podcast
Jamie Scrimgeour
4.9 • 723 Ratings
🗓️ 13 April 2026
⏱️ 46 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
This week's episode is for every stepmom who has ever felt something and immediately felt guilty for feeling it. Jen from The Sober Stepmom joins me this week and we go there. Jealousy, grief, nervous system overload, the control trap. All of it. This is the conversation I wished I'd had years ago.
Here's what we cover, but honestly, just go listen. This one got personal fast.
In this week's episode, Jen and I discuss:
- How becoming a stepmom inspired Jen's journey with sobriety
- The emotions that catch stepmoms completely off guard and why feeling them doesn't make you a bad person
- Jealousy in the stepmom role, what it actually is and why so many stepmoms carry shame around it
- The nervous system science behind why stepmoms feel so on edge, especially around transition days
- Grief that stepmoms never name and how it shows up sideways when you least expect it
- The unique experience of the childless stepmom, including Jen's raw and honest take on navigating infertility while stepparenting
- Why trying to control everything in your blended family is quietly costing you more than you realize
- How to create space between the feeling and your reaction and why that gap is where your power lives
- Practical nervous system regulation tools you can actually use in real stepmom moments
I think this one is going to stay with you.
Find Jen on Instagram @the_sober_stepmom
Masterclass: How to Stop Letting a High-Conflict Ex Hijack Your Life
www.jamiescrimgeour.com/masterclass
Get My Ebook - 120 Ways To Be A KICK-ASS Stepmom
www.jamiescrimgeour.com/ebook
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Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | Do you think there's a different experience between a childless stepmom and a stepmom who has their own biological kids? |
| 0:05.8 | I do in that as a childless stepmom, you are being asked to understand really closely and make sacrifices for something that you don't have firsthand experience with. |
| 0:19.2 | There's this piece of his emotional world that I don't have first-hand experience with. There's this piece of his emotional world |
| 0:23.0 | that I don't know. And our perspectives are really fundamentally different in some key ways |
| 0:32.2 | because he knows what it's like to be a father. And I don't really know what it feels like to be a mother. |
| 0:45.5 | Hey, it's Jamie Scrimger. When I became a stepmom, I quickly realized that while moms are |
| 0:50.2 | encouraged to keep it real, there's a big double standard when it comes to stepmoms. |
| 0:57.2 | So, I decided to start the conversation myself. |
| 1:01.6 | Thriving as a stepmom doesn't just come from conversations about being a stepmom, though. |
| 1:05.7 | Here, we dive into marriage, relationships, personal growth, and more. |
| 1:07.0 | My mission? |
| 1:12.0 | Inspire you to live a kick-ass life while bringing you along as I create my own. This is the kick-ass-step-mom podcast. Jen, welcome to the kick-ass step-mom podcast. Thank you so much for |
| 1:21.6 | having me, Jamie. I am thrilled to be here. I have listened to you for years, to be honest. So this is a treat. Yes. |
| 1:30.2 | There's so many things I want to ask you. I want your story. I want what started this. I want all of it. |
| 1:35.9 | And I've been wanting to have this conversation with you. And I think the best place to do that is on night. |
| 1:41.0 | Yes. Let's do it. Give us your story. Tell me about your step family life and how you |
| 1:45.6 | started sober step. So I am the sober stepmom. That is my, I guess, alias are we calling it? And there's a |
| 1:53.4 | literal interpretation there. I am sober from alcohol. And that definitely plays into, I think, |
| 2:00.3 | how I ended up starting this account. |
| 2:03.3 | It's grown to reflect how I aim to move through stepmotherhood today from a more grounded |
| 2:10.8 | place of sober mind and body where I feel comfortable showing up as my authentic self. |
| 2:19.3 | Because when I stepped into the stepmom role several years ago, |
... |
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