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The Virtual Couch

Emotions Aren't The Boss Of You! Using Expansion To Master Anger, Fear, Sadness and More

The Virtual Couch

Tony Overbay LMFT

Education, Mental Health, Health & Fitness, Self-improvement

5643 Ratings

🗓️ 30 June 2020

⏱️ 43 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Anger, sadness, frustration, fear, loneliness…any one of these emotions can cause one to feel off their game to the point that they may start singing the familiar, yet destructive “what’s wrong with me?” tune. Even more profound is  the old saying “You will not be punished for your (fill in any of the emotions above), you will be punished by your (fill in the same emotion).” So what is one supposed to do with emotions that can cause so much pain, and destruction? The answer is actually quite simple...acknowledge them, “hey fear, I see you, how are you doing? You’re welcome to come along with me while I get some things done...I’m tired of fighting with you, so we’re going to try something different!” And that is what we call expansion, or making room for our emotions. Studies show that learning how to make room for our emotions, learning how to “drop the rope of the tug-of-war” with our emotions is a FAR more effective way to deal with them and can lead to greater joy and happiness. - In this episode, you’ll learn more about the practice of expansion, or making room for your feelings, from the book The Confidence Gap, by Russ Harris  https://amzn.to/2z0SjW1 (https://amzn.to/2z0SjW1) The Confidence Gap is a fantastic book that clearly and easily teaches the concepts of Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT). - Tony's FREE parenting course, “Tips For Parenting Positively Even In the Not So Positive Times” is available NOW. Just go to http://tonyoverbay.com/courses/ and sign up today. This course will help you understand why it can be so difficult to communicate with and understand your children. You’ll learn how to keep your buttons hidden, how to genuinely give praise that will truly build inner wealth in your child, teen, or even in your adult children, and you’ll learn how to move from being “the punisher” to being someone your children will want to go to when they need help. And Tony is so confident that this program will work, that he's offering a money-back guarantee! - This episode of The Virtual Couch is sponsored by Betterhelp.com/virtualcouch (http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch) With the continuing “sheltering” rules that are spreading across the country PLEASE do not think that you can’t continue or begin therapy now. Betterhelp.com/virtualcouch (http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch) can put you quickly in touch with licensed mental health professionals who can meet through text, email, or videoconference often as soon as 24-48 hours. And if you use the link http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch (http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch) you will receive 10% off your first month of services. Please make your own mental health a priority, http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch (http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch) offers affordable counseling, and they even have sliding scale options if your budget is tight. - Tony's new best selling book "He's a Porn Addict...Now What? An Expert and a Former Addict Answer Your Questions" is now available on Kindle. https://amzn.to/38mauBo - Tony Overbay, is the co-author of "He's a Porn Addict...Now What? An Expert and a Former Addict Answer Your Questions" now available on Amazon https://amzn.to/33fk0U4. The book debuted in the number 1 spot in the Sexual Health Recovery category and remains there as the time of this record. The book has received numerous positive reviews from professionals in the mental health and recovery fields. -- You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program The Path Back by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit http://tonyoverbay.com and sign up to receive updates on upcoming programs, and podcasts.

Transcript

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0:00.0

Hey, everybody, thank you for tuning in to episode 211 of the virtual couch.

0:12.0

I am your host, Tony Overbay.

0:13.2

I'm a licensed marriage and family therapist, certified mindful habit coach, writer, speaker, husband father, for ultra-marathon runner and creator of the Pathback, an online pornography recovery program

0:21.6

that is helping people reclaim their lives from the harmful effects of pornography. If you or

0:26.1

anybody that you know is struggling to put pornography behind them once and for all, and trust me,

0:30.7

it can be done in a shame, not a shame based, that would be the opposite, right? A hold the shame,

0:36.8

strength-based, become the person you always wanted to be away,

0:40.1

then head over to pathbackrecovery.com, and there you will find a short e-book that describes

0:44.3

five common mistakes that people make when trying to put pornography behind them once and for

0:47.9

all.

0:48.1

Again, that is pathbackrecovery.com.

0:50.7

And you can find me at Instagram, virtual couch on Facebook at Tony Overbay licensed

0:56.6

marriage and family therapist and please stop by Tonyoverbay.com and sign up to find out

1:02.5

more about some exciting things that are coming up. I was very, very open last week about

1:06.9

a magnetic marriage course that is coming up soon with a good friend of mine,

1:12.5

someone that is helping me put the course together.

1:14.8

And I will be sharing so much more about the program, about him coming up.

1:19.8

And I really cannot wait for this to talk more about this program.

1:25.1

I feel like we've cracked some sort of code on how to do these just conversations,

1:31.7

these almost conversation scripts that will help people learn to communicate better with their spouse

1:37.8

based on the emotionally focused therapy, EFT information by Sue Johnson that I talk so much about

1:44.1

on my podcast.

...

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