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As the day drew to a close, I returned home eager for the comfort of familiarity after a long day

work. However, upon stepping through the door, an unspoken tension hung in the air. My partner sat in the

living room, their usual lively demeanor replaced by a quiet

and withdrawn presence. The warmth that typically greeted me was replaced by an uneasy silence,

leaving me to navigate the sudden shift in the atmosphere. Just move past it, I thought. Just try to

make a little bit of conversation and give her the benefit of the doubt. I started with the normal.

How's your day? Good. Okay, this is off to a good start. Yeah, do you do anything interesting?

Um, no, it was a pretty normal day. Oh my gosh, she's not giving me anything. Um, all right, maybe I'll tell her a little bit about my day.

Well, my day was wild. I ended up in four back-to-back sessions. I hate when I do that to myself. Wow, that's crazy. Oh my gosh, did she really just say that? That's crazy. That's code word for I don't give a crap. The frustration begins to rise as my thoughts pick up. Why is she always like this?

I shouldn't have to come home to this.

Just give her the benefit of the doubt. You don't know what her day was like. No, I'm just trying to have a simple conversation. Go give her a hug. No, she should hug me. Don't say anything. Jeez, it would be nice to come home for once and get a warm greeting. Well, there we go. We go. We're off to the races, and if there wasn't a tension in the air, there certainly is one now.

All right, let's pause here. greeting. Well, there we go. We're off to the races. And if there wasn't attention in the air,

there certainly is one now. All right, let's pause here. Are you familiar with this scenario?

Maybe not this exact one, but you know, the moves that are associated, somebody acts kind of

withdrawn or annoyed in some way. The other person criticizes that makes the other person withdraw more so they get louder.

Well, there's a reason for that.

And it's usually because one of you didn't regulate.

Last week, we talked about emotional regulation and why you need to do it for yourself.

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