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Relationship Advice

Emotional Regulation and Why It’s Important In Relationships: Part 1

Relationship Advice

Colter Bloxom

Health & Fitness, Mental Health, Relationships, Society & Culture

4.41.7K Ratings

🗓️ 4 June 2026

⏱️ 52 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Today we are discussing what it really means to regulate. You know that feeling when you are suddenly not quite in control of yourself? Maybe your body gets tense, your thoughts start moving fast, your tone shifts, or you feel like you might say or do something you would not normally say or do. That is often a sign that your nervous system is activated and needs support.In this episode, Cayla, Colter, and Lauren break down what self-regulation actually looks like in real life and why it matters so much in relationships. They offer psychoeducation about emotions, the nervous system, and the ways our bodies often communicate to us before our minds can fully make sense of what is happening. They also explore practical tools for slowing down, including breath, movement, body awareness, and learning how to notice your internal cues before things escalate.The conversation also looks at the difference between self-regulation and co-regulation. Sometimes we need to learn how to calm and ground ourselves, and sometimes we need safe connection with another person to help us come back into ourselves. This episode is all about understanding those moments of activation with more compassion, building awareness around your patterns, and learning what helps you return to a more grounded place. Give Me Discounts! Check out Relationship Academy! ⁠ Kiwi Fodzyme - Get 30% off your first order! Rythm - Get 15% off your first month + free shipping! Tanasi - Use code “relationship" for 25% off your first order. If you love this episode (and our podcast!), would you mind giving us a⁠ review in iTunes⁠? It would mean the world to us and we promise it only takes a minute. Many thanks in advance! – Colter, Cayla, & Lauren Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Transcript

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0:00.0

Attention all passengers. The Uber ride for Jeff's rugby team will depart in five minutes from Platform 15.

0:09.2

Your ride comes with six toilets and a refreshments carriage that you'll empty within five minutes.

0:16.5

Thank you for booking your tickets on Uber.

0:20.2

Trains on Uber.

0:22.0

I first started doing cold plunges a few years ago.

0:24.8

It was probably right around the time

0:26.3

that Wim Hof made it cool and cold therapy

0:28.9

started making its way onto the scene with all the hip kids.

0:32.0

I resisted for a long time because I really

0:34.3

don't like being uncomfortable,

0:35.8

but after learning about some of the health benefits, I decided to give it a shot. And with some practice, I got a lot better and learned a

0:42.4

system that worked for me. I'd go to the gym, spend about two to three minutes in the hot tub

0:47.1

beforehand, and then slowly and calmly lower myself into the 52 degree water. I learned that

0:53.3

you need to stay in for about three minutes in

0:55.2

order to get the full benefits. And that first 90 seconds was by far the worst. And all your body

1:00.8

is trying to do is regulate. You suddenly can't catch your breath and your heart feels like

1:05.2

it's beating out of your chest. But after about 90 seconds, you'll feel yourself start to calm

1:09.9

down. And you'll feel like you

1:11.5

could stay in for 20 minutes if you needed to.

1:14.4

But then one day, right as I got in, somebody else jumped in the water with me.

1:18.6

It's a public place, so no biggie.

1:21.0

But he's moving around quite a bit, stirring the water around, and this makes it feel even

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