So tonight's topic is emotional intelligence. What the heck is that? What is he on about?

What is emotional intelligence?

Well, I'll answer that question.

Emotional intelligence is the ability to identify, hold, and then express to other people in a useful way an emotional state that

we're in. So this process of knowing what we're experiencing,

being able to hold it and then be able to express it altogether not only creates emotional,

what's called emotional intelligence, it's also how we regulate our emotions

so that we can connect with people.

When we connect simply by words telling stories relating events through

conjecture talking about movies we like all that language-based, it's basically my left hemisphere connecting with your left hemisphere.

It's only half of the job.

But when I can express largely through not just words but through non-verbal signals an emotional

state and have it received by you mirrored back in your expressions.

That's my right hemisphere talking to your right hemisphere and, when both our words and our emotions connect,

that is truly what presents in the human experience the deepest feeling of bonding and intersubjectivity and

mutuality and support. When I know that you are there and can understand not just the things I tell you, but you can receive

my emotional activations and create with me a safe container that I can feel and express not just again in words,

but through facial gestures, body gestures, the tone of my voice, all the different ways I

communicate if you can be with me, hear that and not interrupt, not pull away, not try to

try to solve and fix me and tell me what to do but actually just create a

safe space then I am rewarded with the true intimate bonding that we human beings seek in our life is the deepest expression of the feeling of being in the world with other people.

Feeling secure comes from our connection.

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