Welcome to the Judge John Hodgman Podcast. I'm Bale of Jesse Thorn. This week,

eminent Toe main. Amy brings the case against her girlfriend, Alexa. They made a bet.

If Amy won, Alexa had to refrain from wearing a certain pair of shoes in public for three days.

Amy believes that Alexa broke the terms of their agreement by wearing the shoes in their yard.

Alexa says she stuck to the rules. Who's right? Who's wrong? Only one man can decide.

Please rise as Judge John Hodgman enters the court.

I trust that every animal here appreciates a sacrifice that Judge John Hodgman has made

in taking this extra labor upon himself. Do not imagine, comrades, that judging is a pleasure.

On the contrary, it is a deep and heavy responsibility. No one believes more firmly than Judge John

Hodgman that all animals are equal. He would only be too happy to let you make your own decisions

for yourselves, but sometimes you might make the wrong decisions. And then where should we be?

Bale of Jesse Thorn, swear them in. Please rise and raise your right hand. Do you swear to tell

the truth the whole truth and nothing but the truth so help you God or whatever? I do. I do.

Do you swear to abide by Judge John Hodgman's ruling despite the fact that he wears only

new balance sneakers so that he might avoid a narrow path? I do. I do. Very well, Judge Hodgman.

First of all, how dare you, Jesse? I am a sockany man, and you should know that.

Well, you're usually a man who appreciates an allusion to the lyrics of a tribe called Quest,

specifically Fife Dog. Usually I am until it comes down to my allegiance to Sockany.

And also I didn't catch the reference. First of all, I mean, Alex, you may be seated.

Speaking of obscure cultural references for an immediate summary judgment in one of your favors,

can either of you name the piece of culture that I referenced as I entered the courtroom.

Amy, you brought this case before this court. Why don't you take a shot at it and any guesses?

...