Hi, you're listening to Small Things Often from the Gottman Institute, where we talk you through research-based tips to help improve your relationships in five minutes or less.

Today's tip is about embracing change in your relationship. In relationships, the only constant is change. Don't let it freak you out. But it is a fact that things won't always

stay the same. People evolve. We learn and grow from our experiences. Sometimes we change for the better,

and sometimes we change for the worse. Or maybe it's somewhere in between. But does your relationship have space to accommodate

change? Be open to the ways that you're both evolving, together and individually. It doesn't

necessarily matter how long you've been in a relationship. From the time you started dating your

partner up until today, whether it's your feelings, your environment, the connection

you have with your partner, things may have changed your relationship. Let's say personally,

you watched a family member's destructive relationship unfold. Hearing them communicate makes

you cringe because of their lack of respect for each other. It's brutal. It lit a fire in you to never talk

that way to your partner. And now you're extra conscious of how hurtful words can be. It's led to a

big positive change in your relationship, where respect for each other is of utmost importance.

Sometimes partners change together. Maybe when you first started dating,

you loved the thrill of an exciting Saturday night out on the town, dinner, drinks, dancing,

neon bright lights, and a cab ride home. But now, years later, you both love and crave a relaxing

night at home, talking and catching up, even before the pandemic.

You've become homebodies and connect differently with each other.

You've changed as a couple, and that's totally okay.

You can embrace the change by being open about it.

In what ways has your partner changed that you're grateful for? Beyond maybe a questionable

hairstyle or two. Ask your partner how you've changed too. What changes have surprised you in your

relationship? Talk about the ways you'd like to change in the future. Make room in your

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