Eliminate the Phrase 'Don't Take It Personally' from Your Vocabulary 3 | Mini

Radical Candor: Communication at Work

Radical Candor

Careers, Relationships, Society & Culture, Business

4.7 • 740 Ratings

🗓️ 23 September 2021

⏱️ 5 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

When giving feedback, you should expect emotion. Even when you don’t personalize, it’s personal. That’s why you should eliminate the phrase, “Don’t take it personally” from your vocabulary. In this Radical Candor podcast mini-episode, Kim explains why It’s futile to say in response to emotion, “Don’t take it personally!” Part of your job as a boss (and as a human being) is to deal with emotional responses, not to dismiss them or pretend they’re not there or avoid them. View the show notes >> Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Transcript

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0:00.0	Hi, I'm Amy Sandler, host of the Radical Cander podcast.
0:08.5	We're thrilled to introduce you to our new radically candid mini episodes.
0:13.4	These bite-sized shows feature Kim giving radical candor tips.
0:17.6	They're between five to ten minutes long, and will be released in
0:21.7	between regular episodes.
0:23.9	Enjoy it with a snack.
0:25.6	Hi, I'm Kim Scott.
0:27.1	And I'm Eleanor Scott.
0:28.3	And a lot of people who've read Radical Candor and listen to the Radical Canter podcast
0:33.1	have written in wondering why I am so adamant about my advice to eliminate from your vocabulary
0:41.5	the words don't take it personally. Elle and I are going to act out two different scenarios,
0:46.5	one in which I tell her don't take it personally and one in which I simply react with
0:51.4	compassion to her emotion. Okay.
0:55.0	Hey, Kim.
0:55.7	Hey, Elle.
0:57.1	I'm so glad we're chatting.
0:58.4	I just have a couple of minutes, but I just wanted to let you know that I felt like in that meeting,
1:03.3	you really dug your heels in and you just were not listening to Oscar.
1:08.6	Oh, well, I was trying to listen, but I also have my own opinion.
1:15.9	And I guess, yeah, I guess I didn't want to just cave if I felt like Oscar's direction
1:22.2	wasn't going to be, wasn't going to be the right direction. Yeah, but it's kind of hard to explain
1:26.9	to Oscar what he's doing wrong if you don't really, be the right direction. Yeah, but it's kind of hard to explain to Oscar what he's doing wrong
	...

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