EFR 636: It's Not Me, It's You - Break the Blame Cycle, Relationship Better, and Untangle Common Barriers with Your Partner with John Kim and Vanessa Bennett
Ever Forward Radio with Chase Chewning
Chase Chewning
5 • 927 Ratings
🗓️ 8 September 2022
⏱️ 64 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
What would happen if you approached both your relationships with yourself and your partner through a lens of curiosity instead of judgment and resentment?
Chances are you’d experience more love, comfort, and happiness.
In this episode, John Kim and Vanessa Bennett share their best insights on cultivating a quality relationship with yourself and your partner, the hard work it takes to “relationship better”, and tips and tactics for overcoming the barriers to having a healthy relationship. Most importantly, John and Vanessa talk about the power of approaching relationships through a lens of curiosity instead of judgment.
John and Vanessa, two psychologists, therapists, and life partners are the authors of the new book, “It’s Not Me, It’s You: Break the Blame Cycle. Relationship Better”. In its pages, as well as in this episode, the pair analyzes their own relationship to help untangle the common and frustrating barriers many individuals face on the road to a happy, loving, rewarding partnership.
Follow John @theangrytherapist
Follow Vanessa @vanessabennett
Follow Chase on Instagram @chase_chewning
Follow him on Twitter @chasechewning
Key Highlights
- John and Vanessa talk about how to constructively call your partner out. The trick? Trying to understand before trying to be understood.
- You’ll learn how to open up in a relationship and build trusting communication with your partner instead of sweeping issues and conflicts under the rug.
- You don’t know everything about your partner, which is exciting! John and Vanessa break down why it’s important to get out of judgment and get into curiosity and how to go about doing that in your partnership.
- Fire needs air, meaning if you want passion, you need desire, space, and an understanding of and connection with the self. If you do things for yourself that excite you, you’ll be more able to be excited by your partner.
- Is it okay to fantasize about and be attracted to other people when you’re in a relationship? Tune in to hear John and Vanessa’s answers!
Episode resources:
- Unlock your brain in minutes with Ketone-IQ and save 15% with code CHASE at https://hvmn.me/CHASE
- Save up to 80% on 100% grass-fed beef sticks at https://paleovalley.com/offers/grass-fed-beef-sticks-sample-pack?&oid=21&affid=980
- Watch this on YouTube
- Get their book on Audible with your free trial at https://www.AudibleTrial.com/everforward
- Buy their book, It’s Not Me, It’s You
Transcript
Click on a timestamp to play from that location
| 0:00.0 | The following is an Operation Podcast Production. |
| 0:03.0 | Hey, I'm Vanessa Bennett, and today on Everforward Radio, I am here to discuss |
| 0:08.0 | my, our new book, It's not me, it's you. |
| 0:11.0 | We talk all things relationships relationship with |
| 0:13.7 | self relationship with partner the hard work it takes to actually relationship |
| 0:18.0 | better and so much of that actually has to do with taking responsibility and |
| 0:22.2 | pulling from curiosity always. |
| 0:24.1 | Yeah, my name is John Kim, one of 5,623 John Kim's in the Greater Los Angeles area. |
| 0:31.2 | I wish my name was Chase. That's such a bad-ass name. Yeah, anyway. The big thing we |
| 0:36.8 | talk about in this episode is pulling from curiosity instead of judgment, not only in your |
| 0:42.4 | relationship, but as a practice to live on a higher frequency in life so oh yeah we're both therapists too yes barely I'm barely a |
| 0:50.8 | therapy yeah the 2023 Everford Mentorship is right around the corner. |
| 0:56.0 | And I want to give you my loyal Everford radio listeners the very first opportunity |
| 1:01.0 | to join us by getting on the mentorship's wait list. |
| 1:05.0 | Get ready to join me in the new year and a group of peers on the path to living a life ever forward. |
| 1:10.0 | If you would like to join us to sharpen your mindset, increase your emotional intelligence, |
| 1:15.6 | optimize your overall wellness, as well as connect with others seeking similar goals, |
| 1:20.4 | then make sure to scoop up this opportunity now. |
| 1:23.0 | This will be an exclusive monthly group coaching experience with me |
| 1:26.0 | and guest speakers that are industry leaders in their respective fields. |
| 1:30.0 | If you find value in the content you hear on the podcast, |
| 1:32.0 | just imagine what you can do when you connect |
... |
Please login to see the full transcript.
Disclaimer: The podcast and artwork embedded on this page are from Chase Chewning, and are the property of its owner and not affiliated with or endorsed by Tapesearch.
Generated transcripts are the property of Chase Chewning and are distributed freely under the Fair Use doctrine. Transcripts generated by Tapesearch are not guaranteed to be accurate.
Copyright © Tapesearch 2025.