What I've dedicated my life to is revenge. A brand new drama based on the best-selling novel. They think they're better than us. Who do you think you are? I'm going to prove to them that they're wrong. She's punishing me. You destroyed my family. I will not rest until I've destroyed yours. A Woman of Substance on Channel 4 starts tonight at 9. Oh,

Reader. I find myself at gate 22B. Oh, reader.

I find myself at Newark Airport, of all the godforsaken places, at 7 a.m. on a.m. on a Monday morning.

Preparing myself for three Funville days in L.A.

A meeting with the L.A. Public Library, as soon as we land, a TV show taping tomorrow,

a book signing at a bookstore, then a panel for the LA Times Book Review Festival.

Grant packed it in, and Yvonne is thrilled, and just when I think things can't get any worse. Miles! Oh! Grant. Were you drawing? Writing. No, you weren't. I was making a to-do list for Yvonne. Is Yvonne a cartoon horse? It was a deer. Oh, okay. So, should we get a bite? I like to be at the gate when boarding starts.

Well, that's not for another hour.

Exactly.

Then I'll just go to the Sky Club alone.

You can get into the Delta Lounge?

I flew to Madagascar and back last year just for the points.

Ticket, please.

I'm so sorry. I don't have it.

Oh, I'll need a boarding pass or credit card to give you access to the Sky Club. Oh, my husband and I were just in there, and I'm a total idiot. I left our bag with everything in it, our boarding passes, my wallet, up there. Can we just run in and grab it real quick? Oh, I don't know. I know, I know. I know. I'm a moron.

I'm making your life so much harder than it needs to be.

Oh, no, no. It's really not that big of a deal.

Miles here is constantly telling me I'd lose my head if it wasn't screwed on.

And he's right.

I'm really sorry. We'll be so fast.

Oh, go, go, go.

I can't believe you.

...