You are likely not running out of ideas, but you are running out of time. A lot of us have goals where we want to help more people, we want to get our message out there, we want to be useful. But it's very easy to overthink and over schedule ourselves and ultimately not do these things that we know could help make a bigger impact. This is one reason speaker school exists. We do not run speaker school for just perfect TED Talk style speakers or people that have your topics figured out. Speaker school is for anybody that just wants to refine how they get their point across, whether you want to be a better storyteller, whether you do have a presentation coming up, it is for anybody who knows that there is value in sharing your story and value in helping others, but you just got to get over yourself and commit to it, right? It is a two-day event that we're going to do here in Phoenix, Arizona at the Art of Coaching compound. And we have had people that have social anxiety come to this, we've had practice speakers to this. Bottom line, we get a bunch of misfits together and we work on how to make our message more clear how to get ideas out of our own head, how to more intentionally get our message across to those who need to hear it, and ultimately just to improve as humans, there's no area of your life where becoming a better communicator, a better speaker does not provide massive return on investment. And if I have to convince you of that, you're probably not the right fit for our services, right? But knowing how to get your point across and decrease the risk of misunderstandings, help save you time, help save you money, help save you energy. And it can also help your reputation. You know, like we say the wrong thing sometimes, which this episode and many episodes are gonna talk about how to recover from

and how to manage, that can have pretty nasty effects.

So come get better with us.

It's a fun environment, it's creative environment.

Go to artofcoaching.com slash events.

Now there are student discounts available

and early discounts available,

early purchase discounts available,

and then also first responder discounts available. Artofcoaching.com slash events and look up speaker school today. Welcome to the Art of Coaching Podcast. I'm Brett Bartholomew and at a young age, poor communication nearly caused me my life. Now I help others navigate the great area of social interaction, power dynamics and communication so they can become more adaptable leaders regardless of their profession age or situation

This podcast is for everybody who is fascinated with solving people problems

So if you're in the no nonsense type who appreciates frank conversations

Advise you can put to use immediately and learning how others navigate the messy realities of leadership

You're in the right place. I'm glad that you're joining us. Let's dive in. [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ All right, kicking off episode 414. It was like a lot of episodes. For those of you that have been listening all this time, thank you. I sometimes lose track of this. It's not taken for granted. But we're going to get into this. I always try to deliver things that you guys can use immediately. And I think today is going to be especially timely. And so here's the thing. Somebody came up to me recently and I always try to be mindful of your guys's privacy. And they said essentially, listen, my partner sometimes is just really quiet.

They stare off into space and I never really know if something's wrong. And sometimes

I'll say, hey, you know, what's up? You see him off is everything okay. And if anything

that kind of gets some bite back from me, how do I get them to open up to figure out if

something is actually wrong?

She then mentioned that this is also a colleague at work is kind of like this. And she says, I just feel like, at the more self-reflective I get, the more I feel like, am I coming off as abrasive? She said, but then it's frustrating for me because I shouldn't feel like I should have to apologize tiptoe. When in reality I'm just trying to either connect with somebody whether that is because

there's information I need from them. Or if they're... I should have to apologize or tiptoe. When in reality, I'm just trying to either connect with somebody,

whether that is because there's information I need from them. Or if there is just genuine concern, and me wanting to connect with my partner. So there's a lot of things we could touch on, but let me just say this. One of the things you have to remember, and I'll say it on every podcast episode, if need be, because it is really, really important. It's something I try to remind myself.

One of the best pieces of communication advice you can get in any context is that you have to remember for somebody to first be receptive to your message, you have to try to get them into a psychological state where they're going to be open to receiving it, right? Sometimes people just don't pick their battles, they don't pick their timing and we're not always going to get that luxury. Sometimes you have to communicate even when somebody's riled up and the timing's not great. That goes without saying. But if you want your message to land, you have to try to get that person in a psychological or emotional state to in

the same where they are first receptive to your message.

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