There's nothing more important than return on investment anytime you pay for a personal on professional development.

But there is nothing that will give you more return on investment than improving as a communicator. Then learning more about yourself and your own tactics and your strategies and your blind spots and all of these things when you're interacting with anybody. It doesn't matter whether you're a coach, whether you're a leader, whether you're talking to your kiddos, whether you're talking to your family,

we all have the responsibility to do everything we can to become a more complete person. And that's what our workshops help you do. We're not raw raw, we don't do truss falls, we are a welcoming, small group tailored environment that will help you develop skills that don't have a shelf life. Tired of being underpaid, we can help you become a better negotiator.

Tired of feeling unconfident and socially anxious,

we can help you become a better negotiator. Tired of feeling unconfident and socially anxious, we can help you learn how to be more assertive without losing yourself. Tired of feeling like nobody gets what you're saying or respects you or values you, we can help with that as well. Or maybe you just want to figure out, hey, I've led 30 years, I think I've done so relatively successfully, but I want to communicate better with different generations of staff, or I want to actually see where I can improve. We have had firefighters, other first responders, strength coaches, lawyers, doctors, surgeons, all at our clinic. The thing that people that come to our clinic, all have in common, is they're past all the superficial fluff. They've done all the other con ed, the same con ed, year after year after year they wanted something different, they wanted something challenging and they're at a point in their life where they recognize the value of doing that. I hope that's you. If it is, reach out to us. Go to info at artofcoaching.com. We do custom in services, keynote presentations. We've even gone into an organization for a week and done a whole SWOT analysis of their communication strategies so their staff could be more cohesive. At the end of the day though, we just want to help. But ask yourself this, and this is my only little pitch. What is poor communication going to cost you if you let things slide because poor communication is the only thing

Guaranteed to make anything in life worse double down and prove with us. We'd love to get to know you Check it out, check it out. Welcome to the Art of Coaching Podcast. I'm Rev. Otholomew, and at a young age, poor communication nearly caused me my life. Now I help others navigate the great area of social interaction, power dynamics, and communication so they they can become more adaptable leaders regardless of their profession, age, or situation. This podcast is for everybody who is fascinated with solving people problems. So if you're in the no-nonsense type who appreciates frank conversations, advise you can put to use immediately and learning how others navigate the messy realities of of leadership, you're in the right place. I'm glad that you're joining us. Let's dive in. [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ Welcome back to the podcast. All right, quick one here. Hopefully this helps you. No matter where you're at and live or your career, I think it's always good to be reminded of some things. Now, first off, if you were going to touch on some aspects of imposter syndrome or imposter phenomenon, it's something I talk about a lot in my first book, Conscious Coaching, which you can find on Amazon. We also have a free resource that you can go to artofcoaching.com slash imposter and it can help you deal with a lot of these things in a very clean, pragmatic way. And to ground that, and we talk about this quite a bit also because we have podcast episodes on it, but I think it's always good to bring things back into the fold periodically. Imposter phenomenon, and they do call it that as we mentioned in conscious coaching instead of syndrome, even though we hear that most commonly, because it's not an actual illness or a syndrome or a medical diagnosis, right? It's a phenomenon, something that high achieving people who are very intelligent and well to do often feel. But without getting into that too much, I want to ground it. Okay, so I'm working with a client. I work with a lot of clients like this. I've also been this person who has achieved quite a bit in their life. Now, to respect their privacy, I'm not going to get into it, but essentially made it to the top of their field for all intents and purposes, had accomplished a key dream of theirs and nearly accomplished it multiple times. And notes at the end of the day, I make great money. I've accomplished my goal. I understand that if I went back in time and told a previous version of me, what I've done,

bye all and bye. And no, it's at the end of the day, I make great money, I've accomplished my goal. I understand that if I went back in time

and told a previous version of me, what I've done,

by all measures, I would be incredibly excited

and feel like I'm there.

I'm arrived, essentially, so to speak.

And he said, that's not the case, though.

And so we had a conversation about some of these things.

And I said, well, tell me a little bit more. It's real simple.

When I'm at work, I have no issue being at work. I'm confident I get my job done. I know I'm making a difference. But it's the times when I'm alone where I feel like just something is missing. So I asked them to elaborate on that a little bit. And across several clients, you hear common themes. at one point it's kind of like, well, I actually don't try to spend much time alone.

I don't enjoy particularly to spend much time alone.

I don't enjoy particularly being alone with with my thoughts. So I keep myself busy whether it's with camping or

hunting or whether it's exercise and I run and I do marathons or some other permutation of keeping themselves busy. You could paint action figures, right?

But the point is is they struggle when they can't distract themselves with work or activity. They struggle when it's quiet. And that kind of exposes the ghosts in us, so to speak, right? When we can't set alone with our thoughts and we always have to keep our mind busy, and then more often than not, we tell ourselves, well, that's purposeful, I'm being productive, which of course is just rationalization and intellectualization. It tells you something, right? You're kind of running from something. And I don't mean that to be dramatic, but there is something that you've got to pay attention to. So much of life comes down to pattern recognition, recognizing certain things in yourself and being able to confront that aspect. Man, you can analyze and talk circles and rationalize all you want, but at the end of the day, the question is going to remain the same. What is it that you feel like is missing even when you have the professional credibility? You have financial security. You have all these things. What is it? Now, in his case, he just said, family, you know, I'm in my 40s. I'm not married. I'd like to be. I'd like to have kids. I'd like to do a number of things. And it didn't matter whether he said that or it doesn't matter if you're in a different position and maybe for you, that's travel or maybe that's something else. What you're saying essentially in most cases is there's a part of yourself that feels devoid. It's almost like being nutrient, nutrient, you're deficient in a nutrient, right? We all have multiple aspects of ourself. We're not just who we are at work. We're not just who we are at home. We're not just who we are with our kids or our spouse or partner or what have you, right? There's an amalgamation of these things.

And so you need to listen when you're doing really well at work and that part of your life's going well. And I know it could always go better. I understand that the vast majority of you listening are so hard on yourself, you'll never admit when you made it if you make it. You'll never be happy with your own work. You'll always feel like you're getting behind or something, but if we just take a beat and

you recognize, okay, I have really accomplished something here. I've done this, but something else feels off. That is your life in a way talking to you, saying, yeah, there's some other part of you that you need to develop and you need to pay attention to. I had another client that has a family and he said, you know, I understand why I keep doing this chase professionally for the next championship and the next thing. It gives me in a way a balm to put on a wound that I feel that wasn't his language, but he was saying, I don't feel like I'm a great dad. And I know what it takes to be a great dad. I chose a career where it makes it tough to be home a lot. I've made my bed so I feel like, okay, if this is my career, I have to substantiate it by continually winning or trying to win championships. Otherwise, I just start to think, well, what's all this time away from my kids really accomplishing? So I chase the next job that's the highest up or if I don't chase the next job, I try to make sure that I get really into the weeds of sport science and anything that can help get us closer to guaranteeing wins and championships, which is of course a fallacy in sport, much of life. And those are complex aspects. There's so many different things that that lead to winning and dynasties and what have you, but it made sense at face value after he engaged with it. And that's step one. You feel like something's off. Step one is to engage with it. Don't go run another marathon. Don't sign up for an Iron Man. Don't go do something else. I mean, that's fine if you need to take a beat and catch your, get your bearings. the more you avoid it, the less likely you're going to hear the message.

And then you're gonna sit there and pray

...