4.8 • 24.2K Ratings
🗓️ 15 January 2021
⏱️ 67 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Theo discusses his view on Assimilation Theory, tells stories about The Comedy Store's late, great pianist, Jeff Scott and talks about Theo and Tammy's Belated Christmas Talent Extravaganza, the live, virtual comedy event happening tomorrow, January 15th at 8pm CT! Tickets available through the link above. Get your tickets now!
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Click on a timestamp to play from that location
0:00.0 | You know it, baby. You know it and you don't isn't that fascinating. |
0:07.4 | Hmm. You know, I remember when I was young, they had a fellow in my neighborhood, |
0:13.3 | this little boy named Lil Allen. And God damn, he was small brother. |
0:19.8 | They couldn't even, he couldn't even put a large grape in his mouth. |
0:22.9 | I mean, yeah, yeah, yeah, to shove it in. |
0:31.6 | And he was on every prayer list. My God, he was just |
0:37.3 | young fellow just monopolized, the prayer list around every day, every prayer list, |
0:43.6 | Allen, Allen, Allen, Allen, Allen, again, Allen times two. |
0:48.8 | Just man, so many prayers went up for small Allen, man. And you know, I'm thinking about him. |
0:54.8 | I know that actually today is his birthday. And that is January 14. |
1:02.7 | In the year 2021, that's where we are. |
1:06.5 | And I don't know if you're Bill or Ted, but we're in the future. |
1:11.6 | I don't know if you're Tamra. I don't know how hell I don't know who you are because I don't know you. |
1:17.7 | I do not know you. |
1:21.1 | But it's a wild one out there, man. They need to start making underpants thicker because shit |
1:28.0 | is getting real. Let's get into it. |
1:33.0 | Come on. You thinking, oh, there's no way he's going to play it again, huh? Well... |
1:48.8 | I'm just sitting on your front porch wondering how could I be so far from |
1:54.8 | my... Oh, come on. Tell him Travis. |
2:04.2 | Come on, baby. |
2:11.2 | Now I'm just sitting on the breeze and I feel I'm falling like these leaves I must be |
2:17.5 | calling a stone. Oh, when I reach that ground I'll share this piece of my mouth out. |
... |
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