E287: Are You “Strong Enough” or Just Stubborn? (Self-Control & Willpower)

Sober Powered: The Neuroscience of Being Sober

Gillian Tietz, MS, CPRC

Science, Self-improvement, Education, Health & Fitness, Mental Health

4.9 • 1.2K Ratings

🗓️ 4 July 2025

⏱️ 21 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

When we think about getting sober, most of the focus is on not drinking, but we don’t think about what to start doing to actually rewire the brain and move forward. In this episode, I’ll explain why white-knuckling doesn’t work. You’ll learn about why willpower is not the most important factor for staying sober, how being “strong” prevents us from getting support, and what you can do differently to make progress. It’s not about convincing yourself of all the bad health effects of alcohol or powering through temptation, because if those things were effective long term strategies, then relapse rates wouldn’t be so high. I will also discuss how taking on the label of an “alcoholic” is a barrier for many people that keeps us isolated and drinking. What to listen to next: E274: High Dopamine, Low Effort Behaviors and Making Sobriety Feel Less Hard E267: Resources vs Support: Are You Setting Yourself Up For Success? Work with me: Community & Meetings: Living a Sober Powered Life https://www.soberpowered.com/membership Sober coaching https://www.soberpowered.com/sober-coaching Weekly email: You’ll hear from me on Fridays https://www.soberpowered.com/email Free resources https://www.soberpowered.com/free Courses: The non-negotiable mindset https://www.soberpowered.com/mindset-course Don’t try harder, try different https://www.soberpowered.com/willpower Support the show: If you enjoyed this episode please consider buying me a coffee to support all the research and effort that goes into this podcast https://www.buymeacoffee.com/soberpowered Thank you for supporting this show by supporting my sponsors https://www.soberpowered.com/sponsors Sources are posted on my website Disclaimer: all of the information described in this podcast is my interpretation of the research combined with my opinion. This is not medical advice. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Transcript

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0:00.0	When we think about getting sober, most of the focus is on not drinking, but we don't think
0:05.6	about what to start doing to actually rewire the brain and move forward.
0:10.7	In this episode, I'll explain why white knuckling doesn't work.
0:15.2	You'll learn about why willpower is not the most important factor for staying sober, how
0:20.5	being strong prevents us from getting
0:22.9	support, and what you can do differently to make progress. It's not about convincing yourself of all the
0:29.5	bad health effects of alcohol or powering through temptation, because if those things were
0:34.8	effective long-term strategies, then relapse rates wouldn't be so high.
0:39.4	I'll also discuss how taking on the label of an alcoholic is a barrier for many people that
0:45.2	keeps us isolated and drinking.
0:47.6	And before we dig in, I'd like to take a moment to thank my sponsors who made this episode possible.
0:53.7	I spend a lot of time thinking about the difference between people who successfully stay sober
1:00.2	and those who do not.
1:02.3	One major difference that I've observed is that people who do not stay sober or those who
1:08.9	flip-flop back and forth, They rely on willpower or tips and
1:14.3	strategies that are just disguised willpower. And people who stay sober long-term, they do life
1:21.3	differently. Powering through is not a long-term strategy. It's not that I have more discipline or self-control than you.
1:30.3	It's that I don't rely on discipline or self-control for the most part to stay sober.
1:36.0	And it's not easy to know the difference between when you're using willpower and white-neckling
1:41.0	versus when you have an actual appropriate strategy.
1:47.4	And that's why I created Don't Try Hard or Try Different.
1:52.4	It's a course about how to take willpower and turn it into strategies that work.
	...

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