E261: Outcome vs. Journey- The Control Freak's Guide to Sobriety

Sober Friends

Matt J

12 Steps, Spirituality, Personal Journals, Mental Health, Sober, Recovery, Health & Fitness, Addiction, Religion & Spirituality, Alcohol Free, Sober Curious, Alcoholics Anonymous, Dry January, Society & Culture, Sobriety

4.3 • 722 Ratings

🗓️ 20 January 2026

⏱️ 33 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

Send us Fan Mail Ever feel like you're doing everything "right" in recovery but still find yourself pissed off when things don't go your way? Steve opens up about his biggest struggle even after 15+ years sober: the control freak mindset that gets shit done but also sets him up for resentment, anxiety, and dangerous thinking patterns. In this episode, we dig into the difference between being outcome-focused (expecting specific results because you did the work) versus journey-focused (trusting...

Transcript

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0:00.0	Welcome to the Sober Friends podcast. You're in the right place if you are just looking for some
0:12.5	discussion of all the things that you're dealing with when you want to quit alcohol or live a
0:18.0	great life after quitting alcohol. My name is Matt Jay.
0:21.9	Steve is with me today.
0:24.7	And I'll tell you,
0:26.7	we think a serenity prayer,
0:29.9	knowing the things that we can and can't control,
0:33.6	knowing the difference, that's the hard part.
0:36.4	Man, control can be hard knowing that you would there
0:42.0	if you could just have a good outcome i could just control it that would be great and knowing
0:46.7	there really is a lot that we can't control and i know this is this this topic is near and dear to you
0:54.7	what does that mean to you. It is.
0:55.6	It is. It's something that I've been dealing.
0:58.8	First of all, good morning, Matt, and good morning out there in podcast land.
1:04.1	On this snowy New England day.
1:07.5	Snow that seems to never stop.
1:08.7	What's that? Snow that never seems to stop this weekend. Yeah, well, that's no, sitting here in my office, what's that?
1:11.6	Snow that never seems to stop this weekend.
1:13.6	Yeah, well, that's okay.
1:14.6	I mean, I like this time of year.
1:16.6	I like snow.
1:17.6	So sitting here recording this as I'm watching the snowfall.
	...

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