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Pillow Talks

E255: The Sexiest Thing You're Not Doing in Bed…Mutual Masturbation

Pillow Talks

Vanessa & Xander Marin

Sexuality, Health & Fitness

4.82.6K Ratings

🗓️ 9 April 2026

⏱️ 44 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Only 36% of our audience says they've tried mutual masturbation. Which means most of you are missing out on one of the most erotic, intimate, and surprisingly easy things you can do with your partner. It sounds intimidating. Maybe even a little awkward. But here's the thing: it doesn't have to be. In this episode, we're breaking down what mutual masturbation actually is, why it's so hot, and exactly how to try it for the first time (even if the idea makes you nervous). 💛 In this episode, you'll hear: Why mutual masturbation is one of the best ways to learn what your partner actually likes How being "on display" for each other can be surprisingly sexy Simple, low-pressure ways to bring it up without making it weird What to do if you feel shy (hint: a single candle goes a long way) Creative ways to level it up once you're comfortable How mutual masturbation can help you overcome shame around self-pleasure Why this can be a game-changer for orgasming with your partner You don't have to be adventurous or fearless to try this. You just have to be a little curious. And this episode will give you everything you need to get started. 🔥 Want to take your foreplay skills to the next level? The Ultimate Foreplay Guides are Vanessa and Xander's step-by-step guides to expertly pleasuring your partner, with detailed techniques, animated GIFs, and audio walkthroughs. Over 100 unique techniques for fingering, oral, hand jobs, and blow jobs Beautiful animated illustrations so you know exactly what to do Written and audio versions of both guides Inclusive language and visuals, because everyone deserves great pleasure Whether you want to build confidence, learn something new, or just blow your partner's mind tonight, this is where to start. 👉🏻 Check out The Ultimate Foreplay Guides here: vmtherapy.com/foreplay Stay Connected 📸 Follow us on Instagram → https://instagram.com/vanessaandxander 💌 Get our weekly email — real talk, expert tips, and zero shame → https://vmtherapy.com/subscribe 🎧 Subscribe to Pillow Talks wherever you get your podcasts! ========================== THANKS TO OUR SPONSORS ========================== 👏Thanks Remi. Start a new year right and use code PILLOW at checkout for 50% off your purchase of a new night guard. ➡︎https://shopremi.com/PILLOW 👏Thanks Cozy Earth. Let this Mother’s Day be a reminder that she deserves care, too — discover how Cozy Earth turns everyday routines into moments of softness and ease. Use code PILLOW to get up to 20% off. If you get a Post-Purchase Survey, be sure to mention you heard about Cozy Earth right here!➡︎https://cozyearth.com 👏Thanks Blissy. Because you’re a listener, Blissy is offering 60-nights risk-free PLUS use code PILLOWPOD to get an additional 30% off. Your skin and hair will thank you!➡︎https://blissy.com/PILLOWPOD 👏Thanks Birch. We want all our listeners to enjoy a deep, restful night's sleep with a new mattress from Birch and get 20% off. ➡︎ 👏Thanks Quince. Refresh your wardrobe with Quince. Free Shipping on your order and 365-day returns. Now available in Canada, too. ➡︎https://quince.com/pillow 👏Thanks StoryWorth. This year, give Mom a gift that helps her reflect on her life with fresh perspective and gives your whole family the gift of her stories. Mother's Day is Sunday, May 10th. Order RIGHT NOW and sve up to $20. ➡︎https://storyworth.com/pillow Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Transcript

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0:00.0

Have you ever thought that I was like rubbing my clit too fast?

0:04.3

It's fucking hot.

0:05.3

Like, I just like, I don't, I don't even know how to answer that question.

0:09.8

Like, I mean, man, I'm so sorry and so bummed that shit like that goes through your head.

0:28.3

Hello and welcome to the Pillow Talks podcast. We're your host, Vanessa, and Zander Marin.

0:37.9

I'm a sex therapist with over 20 years of experience. And I'm just a regular dude. We share the ups and downs in our relationship while giving you step-by-step techniques for improving yours.

0:39.0

Make sure you subscribe for your weekly double date full of totally doable sex tips, practical

0:43.9

relationship advice, hilarious and honest stories of what really goes on behind closed bedroom

0:49.5

doors and so much more.

0:51.8

It's the sex education you wish you'd had.

0:56.1

Greetings from the past.

0:59.3

We are recording this episode ahead of time

1:03.2

because we are heading out of town

1:05.4

to celebrate my birthday.

1:06.9

We actually delayed my birthday trip

1:09.7

by about over a month because our our our niece, Poppy, was being

1:15.1

born and we wanted to have plenty of time with her before we took off for a little trip.

1:19.3

But we are on a birthday trip celebrating my big four two.

1:25.4

And so we decided to go back into the archives and re-release one of our most popular episodes

1:33.2

ever.

1:34.6

We have done 255 episodes at this point, which is crazy to think about.

1:39.8

But there are so many episodes that we recorded earlier in the history of Pillow Talks that

...

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