E247: Our Recent Foreplay Discoveries (and how to explore more)

Pillow Talks

Vanessa & Xander Marin

Sexuality, Health & Fitness

4.8 • 2.6K Ratings

🗓️ 12 February 2026

⏱️ 52 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

We’ve been experimenting more in our own bedroom lately, and in today’s episode, we’re pulling back the covers on what we’ve discovered. The things that surprised us. The moments that felt a little vulnerable. And the small shifts that brought a big boost of curiosity and connection. Exploration doesn’t have to mean doing anything extreme or intimidating. If you love the idea of trying something new but feel stuck on how to actually bring this into your real-life sex life, don’t worry. We’re breaking down exactly how to make exploration feel intentional, low-pressure, and actually fun. 💛 In this episode, you’ll hear: What “exploration” really means (and what it doesn’t). Why new doesn’t have to mean wild — it can mean slower, softer, or more intentional. How to talk about trying new things outside the bedroom first. Why removing pressure makes experimentation way more enjoyable. How to create playful structure with curiosity nights and King/Queen roles. How laughing things off builds safety and trust. Why exploration is an ongoing mindset, not a one-time fix. Our recent bedroom discoveries — including pillows, fingers, and subtle shifts in sensation. If you’re in a season where sex feels predictable, disconnected, or a little stale, this episode is a reminder that you don’t need a total overhaul. Sometimes curiosity is enough to open the door again. 🔗 Links & Resources 💖 Valentine’s Day Sale: The Ultimate Foreplay Guides If you want a really good way to bring more exploration, confidence, and fun into your bedroom, this week is the perfect time. Right now, The Ultimate Foreplay Guides — our #1 best seller — are on sale for $40 (normally $69) to celebrate Valentine’s Day and Vanessa’s birthday. 🎉 Inside, you’ll find: Over 100 foreplay techniques you can explore together. Clear, step-by-step instructions (no guessing). Audio versions you can listen to together. Tasteful visuals that make things feel approachable, not awkward. It’s the kind of gift that says, “I want you… and I want us to have more fun together.” 👉 Grab The Ultimate Foreplay Guides here: vmtherapy.com/foreplay (on sale now through Feb 16, 2026) Our Fave Sex Pillow : The Prim @ TabuStay connected Use our code PILLOWTALKS at checkout to get 10% Off 👉🏻 vmtherapy.com/pillow Stay connected 📸 Follow us on Instagram → instagram.com/vanessaandxander 💌 Get our weekly email — real talk, expert tips, and zero shame → https://vmtherapy.com/subscribe 🎧 Subscribe to Pillow Talks wherever you get your podcasts! ========================== THANKS TO OUR SPONSOR ========================== 👏Thanks Quince. Refresh your wardrobe with Quince. Free Shipping on your order and 365-day returns. Now available in Canada, too. ➡︎https://quince.com/PILLOW Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Transcript

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0:00.0	Everyone always asks us, how do we try new things without it feeling awkward?
0:04.5	Or even just like, how do we have sex without it feeling awkward?
0:07.6	And we're really big believers that awkwardness is just part of the price of admission of having a great sex life.
0:15.2	Awkwardness is sexy.
0:17.2	You would go that far?
0:19.2	I think it can be.
0:21.8	Say more.
0:31.3	Hello and welcome to the Pillow Talks podcast.
0:32.9	We're your host, Vanessa.
0:34.1	And Zander Marin.
0:37.1	I'm a sex therapist with over 20 years of experience.
0:44.3	And I'm just a regular dude. We share the ups and downs in our relationship while giving you step-by-step techniques for improving yours. Make sure you subscribe for your weekly double date full of totally doable sex tips, practical relationship advice,
0:50.3	hilarious and honest stories of what really goes on behind closed bedroom doors
0:55.8	and so much more. It's the sex education you wish you'd had. So today's episode was inspired by a
1:05.0	recent DM that we got. Somebody messaged us when we were doing our Ask Us Anything on Instagram and they asked,
1:12.9	how do you keep foreplay from getting boring in your relationship?
1:17.0	Do you just like cycle through your own foreplay techniques?
1:20.6	Isn't that awkward?
1:22.2	And I think so many people have this question.
1:26.9	Like we've all heard the advice to keep it spicy and try new things in the
1:30.8	bedroom, but for most of us, like, we feel very awkward with the implementation. And I think so many
1:37.2	people also think, like, that intentionality around sex can feel really awkward, too. Like, yeah,
	...

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