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Pillow Talks

E245: What It’s Really Like to Start TRT: Xander’s Testosterone Journey

Pillow Talks

Vanessa & Xander Marin

Sexuality, Health & Fitness

4.82.6K Ratings

🗓️ 29 January 2026

⏱️ 63 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Testosterone is one of those topics that feels loaded. It’s tangled up in masculinity, aging, sex drive, energy, mood… and a whole lot of misinformation. Because of that, many men quietly wonder if something is off — but feel embarrassed, unsure, or afraid to even ask the question. So today, we’re having a very real conversation. In this episode, Xander is sharing his personal testosterone journey — what made him start asking questions, the concerns he had before doing anything, what the actual process looked like, and how it’s impacted everything from his energy and mood to sex and our relationship. 💛 In this episode, you’ll hear: The early symptoms that made Xander realize something wasn’t right. Why sobriety played a surprising role in recognizing his baseline energy. What functional medicine actually is (and how it differs from traditional care). Why many men never get tested for testosterone through primary care. The problem with “normal” testosterone ranges in the U.S. What lifestyle changes he tried first — and why they weren’t enough. The different treatment options (creams, Clomid, injections) and how each felt. What it’s really like to inject testosterone. How his testosterone levels changed over time. What it actually costs — and whether insurance covers it. Honest answers to the most common fears and side effects. We get into the stuff men are usually too embarrassed to ask out loud. This isn’t medical advice. It is one person’s honest experience navigating low testosterone, functional medicine, and treatment options — the good, the uncomfortable, and the unexpected. 🔗 Links & Resources ✨ Your relationship called. It wants a little more… fun. The Spark is our monthly cheat code for connection + intimacy. Connection questions, date nights, and a new position to try — delivered fresh every month for just $9! 👉🏻 Get your Spark back here: http://vmtherapy.com/spark Stay connected 📸 Follow us on Instagram → instagram.com/vanessaandxander 💌 Get our weekly email — real talk, expert tips, and zero shame → https://vmtherapy.com/subscribe 🎧 Subscribe to Pillow Talks wherever you get your podcasts! ========================== THANKS TO OUR SPONSOR ========================== Use code PILLOWTALKS at checkout to get 10% discount of the Tabu Sex Pillow ➡︎https://vmtherapy.com/pillow Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Transcript

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0:00.0

Like energy wise, I feel like better than I felt throughout like my entire 30s and probably through most of my 20s.

0:06.8

If I'm being really honest.

0:08.8

And it's like, yeah, why wouldn't you want to feel your best when you feel really good?

0:14.0

When you feel capable of a lot, I think you're able to show up as a better man.

0:28.1

Hello and welcome to the Pillow Talks podcast.

0:29.7

We're your host, Vanessa.

0:31.0

And Zander Marin.

0:34.0

I'm a sex therapist with over 20 years of experience.

0:35.5

And I'm just a regular dude.

0:37.9

We share the ups and downs in our relationship while giving you step-by-step techniques for improving yours. Make sure you subscribe for your

0:43.0

weekly double date full of totally doable sex tips, practical relationship advice, hilarious

0:48.5

and honest stories of what really goes on behind closed bedroom doors and so much more. It's the sex education

0:55.6

you wish you'd had. Today we have a very personal episode that was hotly requested. Yeah.

1:05.0

We're talking about Xander's testosterone journey. A sensitive topic for a lot of people. Yeah. Doesn't feel sensitive to me. Yeah, I think a lot of people, we actually had a lot of requests on Instagram for us to share about this. And I think a lot of people were surprised that you wanted to share about it. Like it was supposed to be some dirty little secret that you were supposed to take to your grave. So we're doing a deep dive into this

1:28.7

today. We're talking about like what made Xander start asking some questions in the first place,

1:34.8

the symptoms that he was struggling with, what the whole process of getting on testosterone looked

1:40.8

like, and answering a lot of your questions about side effects.

1:45.2

People were curious about all sorts of stuff from mood to the size of your balls to your

1:50.6

libido to the impacts that it's had on our relationship.

1:54.4

So yeah, let's get personal.

1:55.9

So we're going to really dive into it.

1:59.3

Of course, we always have to preface this by saying, we are not doctors.

...

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