E241: Sex Fails: Car Hookups, Clap Lights, and Cowgirl Concussions

Pillow Talks

Vanessa & Xander Marin

Sexuality, Health & Fitness

4.8 • 2.6K Ratings

🗓️ 1 January 2026

⏱️ 34 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

It’s been a while since we last covered some of your funniest sex fails… and honestly, we forgot just how creative things can get when pants come off. We asked, and you absolutely delivered by sending in your funniest, wildest, and most unfiltered stories. We’re diving straight into the deep end today — from the “I cannot believe this happened” moments to the genuine mishaps — and breaking down some of the most unhinged submissions you’ve ever sent our way. So buckle up. This episode is proof that even the best intentions can take a sharp left turn into absolute chaos… and sometimes those are the moments you end up laughing about for years. 💛 In this episode, you’ll hear: Melted chocolate + chest hair = a cautionary tale Why clap-activated lights are not sexy (and definitely not practical) The BJ that turned into a mouth-numbing emergency The fully naked car hookup… in front of a VERY public bathroom The New Year’s Eve drool + fart combo that took them out Heating lube + a lost tampon = pure, fiery chaos The condom that took a ride home and introduced itself to mom A cowgirl concussion (yes, really) If you’ve ever had a moment during sex that made you think, “Well… that was not the plan,” you’re in good company. These stories are a reminder that sex is messy, funny, human, and a whole lot less “perfect” than anyone admits. Happy New Year! ❤️ Ready to reconnect? Take our free Intimacy Quiz to uncover what’s missing (and how to get it back). Discover your intimacy type and get personalized tools to help you communicate better, desire more, and feel closer than ever. 👉 Take the quiz now and unlock your results: https://vmtherapy.com/5keys Stay connected 📸 Follow us on Instagram → instagram.com/vanessaandxander 💌 Get our weekly email — real talk, expert tips, and zero shame → https://vmtherapy.com/subscribe 🎧 Subscribe to Pillow Talks wherever you get your podcasts! Use code PILLOWTALKS at checkout to get 10% discount. ➡︎https://vmtherapy.com/pillow Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Transcript

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0:00.0	Newly married, we tried pouring melted chocolate on my husband. We did not think ahead about his
0:07.3	hairy chest. They never do. Anyone that does this, they never think ahead. Before smart lights,
0:14.2	we put clap activated lights in our bedroom. I already know where this is going. When Hubs and I were
0:20.0	dating, I was on my period, but we were both riled up.
0:23.7	You're getting a lot of joy.
0:25.1	You're having way too much fun reading ways.
0:26.0	I don't know the way that people are writing is, we riled up.
0:29.1	We are changing positions, and I realize the condom came off.
0:32.9	I think all of us have been there if we use condoms at some point in our lives.
0:38.3	And he was giving me oral sex but got my clitoris caught in between his teeth.
0:44.3	Oh no. Oh no. Hello and welcome to the Pillow Talks podcast.
0:58.1	We're your host, Vanessa, and Zander Marin.
1:00.7	I'm a sex therapist with over 20 years of experience.
1:03.7	And I'm just a regular dude.
1:05.3	We share the ups and downs in our relationship while giving you step-by-step techniques
1:09.4	for improving yours.
1:11.0	Make sure you subscribe for your weekly double date full of totally doable sex tips,
1:15.7	practical relationship advice, hilarious and honest stories of what really goes on behind
1:21.0	closed bedroom doors and so much more. It's the sex education you wish you'd had.
1:28.4	Today we are sharing your funniest sex fails.
1:33.4	We did a fails episode, I think a couple of years ago, and we totally forgot about the topic
1:38.7	and then just recently realized, you know what, we got to revisit that.
	...

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