E240: The Body Confidence Episode - How To Feel Good In Your Skin During Sex

Pillow Talks

Vanessa & Xander Marin

Sexuality, Health & Fitness

4.8 • 2.6K Ratings

🗓️ 23 December 2025

⏱️ 70 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

It’s officially that time of year when the New Year buzz is everywhere. Your feeds are full of fitness goals, habit resets, and “new year, new me” energy. And while there’s nothing wrong with wanting to feel healthier or build new routines, this season also tends to stir up a lot of feelings about our bodies… especially when it comes to intimacy. So today, we’re bringing back one of our most popular episodes ever — a conversation all about feeling confident in your own skin during sex. Whether you’re riding high on fresh-start motivation or feeling a little self-conscious with all the “improvement” talk around you, this one is your reminder that real confidence has nothing to do with the number on a scale or the size of your jeans. In this re-air, we’re breaking down the actual tools and mindset shifts that help you feel present in your body, enjoy intimacy, and connect with your partner from a grounded, self-affirming place. Because you deserve to feel good in the body you have right now. 💛 In this episode, you’ll hear: Why body confidence matters so much during intimacy How cultural conditioning shapes the way we see our bodies in the bedroom The most common body-related worries couples bring into sex Simple mindset reframes that actually help you feel more confident Practical tips for staying present instead of spiraling into self-criticism How to talk to your partner about body insecurity (without killing the mood) If you’re in a season where your relationship with your body feels complicated, you’re not alone. We hope this episode helps you feel a little more at home, a little more grounded, and a little more connected — to yourself and your partner. ❤️ Ready to reconnect? Take our free Intimacy Quiz to uncover what’s missing (and how to get it back). Discover your intimacy type and get personalized tools to help you communicate better, desire more, and feel closer than ever. 👉 Take the quiz now and unlock your results: https://vmtherapy.com/5keys Stay connected 📸 Follow us on Instagram → instagram.com/vanessaandxander 💌 Get our weekly email — real talk, expert tips, and zero shame → https://vmtherapy.com/subscribe 🎧 Subscribe to Pillow Talks wherever you get your podcasts! ========================== THANKS TO OUR SPONSORS ========================== 👏Thanks Wild Alaskan. Get $35 off your first box of premium, wild-caught seafood. Get seafood you can trust. ➡︎http://wildalaskan.com/PILLOW 👏Thanks Cozy Earth. Use code PILLOWTALKS to get up to 20% off.And if you get a Post-Purchase Survey, make sure to let them know you heard about Cozy Earth right here!➡︎https://cozyearth.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Transcript

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0:00.0	There's just this tightness that we're trained to have in our bodies.
0:05.0	And so much of what happens during sex is we need to like melt into our bodies and let them be and let go.
0:13.0	Like research has actually shown in order to orgasm, like we have to turn off those parts of our brains that are hypercritical and like hypervigilant and hyper aware.
0:27.8	Hello and welcome to the Pillow Talks podcast. We're your host, Vanessa. And Zander Marin.
0:33.9	I'm a sex therapist with over 20 years of experience. And I'm just a regular dude.
0:38.3	We share the ups and downs in our relationship while giving you step-by-step techniques for improving yours.
0:44.3	Make sure you subscribe for your weekly double date full of totally doable sex tips, practical relationship advice,
0:50.3	hilarious and honest stories of what really goes on behind closed bedroom doors and so
0:56.0	much more. It's the sex education you wish you'd had. It's officially that time of year again
1:03.7	where the New Year's buzz is everywhere. That's terrible. Buz, New Year's, buzz.
1:13.6	You know, like your feeds are full of all the, like, fitness goals, habit resets, new year, new me, energy.
1:20.6	Stop, you got to stop.
1:23.6	And while there's nothing wrong with wanting to feel healthier or build new routines,
1:29.2	and it's really understandable that a lot of people use the calendar reset to do that,
1:33.7	we also know that this season can stir up a lot of feelings about our bodies, and especially
1:39.0	when it comes to intimacy. So today we are bringing back one of our most popular episodes of all time, which is all
1:46.7	about feeling confident in your own body during sex. So whether you're riding high on all that
1:53.4	New Year's fresh start motivation, or maybe you're feeling a little self-conscious, seeing all the
1:57.9	self-improvement talk everywhere around you, this conversation,
2:01.6	we hope, will be a reminder that confidence doesn't come from a number on the scale or the size
2:07.6	of your genes. In this re-air, we're sharing our best tips for building real grounded
2:13.5	body confidence, the kind that lets you actually enjoy being present during sex, feel connected
	...

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